Dear Mother Nature, or whatever you fancy yourself to be these days:

It is almost April.

This

FREAKIN SNOW!

It's the worst thing ever.

DISGUSTING. JUST DISGUSTING

is completely and utterly unacceptable. We had this conversation last time you allowed it t do this white…filth. I thought we had an understanding that this was NOT to happen again this year. I thought we had an understanding that by my birthday this should be LONG GONE.

I am now laying down an ultimatum.

This had better be gone by Tuesday when I wake up. I want birdies chirping, I want spring here in FULL FORCE…yes, it can rain…that’s spring…but NO SNOW.

Are we perfectly clear here?

Good. I thought so.