So, the Outlaws remembered my birthday this year…but it wasn’t as profitable as last year. I was hoping for some cash-trumps-sincerity after their latest set of tirades and fiascos (attempting to kick me out of the house we’re living in for no other reason than Doug won’t tell them where I work. Like they REALLY need to know that? Really? AND then hanging up on him when he said “well, if she goes, I go.” Morons.), but that didn’t happen.
Instead, I the most non-religious person that I know (despite the fact that I work at a Catholic school…) got a “May God bless you on your birthday” card with a $2.00 bill in it and some of the usual insincere crap that Vapid spews.
Now, the sad part in all of this is that she thinks she knows us SOOO well. She thinks she knows me in the most intimate of mother-daughter relationships. Prime example here- She thinks she knows my favorite foods-yet doesn’t know that cola gives me hives and keeps trying to foist it on me. that’s a basic set of knowledge when you’re dealing with me. Sodas in my world are CLEAR. She pretends to know what I like to wear. Anyone who has seen me dress knows I prefer classic lines and styles over trendy. I don’t go shopping for clothing much. She’s purchased me the wrong size trendy (with nasty patterns and colors) clothes…try 4 sizes too big. Her line? “I tried them on, and they fit me, so I figured they’d fit you too.” Sooo…mother daughter bond? Yeah, right. whatever. My own darling Moomie doesn’t dare pick out clothes for me without me around! See how delusional this woman is?
I’m pretty good at keeping my distance when it counts, and with these two, that’s the name of my game-or I’ll do/say something that I regret. So, in my world, they get no information. So gee…How do you think I’ll really love a religious card?
And what’s with the 2.00 bill? that’s just an insult in my world. WTF? It would have been better if they never sent anything!
I just have to laugh. They’re so freakin’ delusional that they don’t realize that I don’t care about any of this. Just stay far away from me and I’m all good. Sending me nothing is better than doing what they pulled.
So, maybe next year, they’ll forget my birthday altogether instead of insulting me. That would just make me one happy Laura.
Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I think I’m going to go have Isaac recycle the card. he’s on this big “save the Earth” kick lately. I can tell him all about recycling paper!
