Hockey Equipment 101-or why I really should listen to my gut.

Today, Isaac had a half day, due to grades 1-5’s parent conferences. Oh, fun. So, we miss a full day of resource and therapies…but I digress. I picked the small boy up a smidge early and took him to purchase his hockey skates, stick and other items. We ran our errands and then progressed onto attempting to purchase the skates. My first instinct was to go to Kemp’s. BUUUUUTTTT, since I had done something slightly stupid with Isaac’s adderol prescription (don’t ask. It’s a classic Laura maneuver. I’ll just leave it at that.), I decided that we should stop at Dick’s, since it was on the way.

 

Yeah. Bad idea. Superbad idea.

I walk in with Isaac, and find the way through the new store to the hockey department. There, we get a pair of skates, a roll of clear tape (for the socks) and a mouthguard. I didn’t think the skates were right-they seemed waaay too big, but I was told they would work. Heck! What do I know! I’m a first time hockey parent. They also didn’t have the hockey undies that he requires to play. The guy that was “helping” us didn’t even know that there were special protective underwear for hockey, and tried to sell us a run of the mill jock. No, no, no. How are we supposed to keep the socks up? seriously! The hockey specific ones have velcro on the bottom of them that you stick the socks to.

Then, we got some bad recommendations on the stick. They tried to sell us a STREET HOCKEY stick for an ice hockey game. Yikes! Plus, since all of the sticks were too long, I asked if they cut them to size for the player. He said we could do it ourselves. When I asked for measurement guidelines, he gave me a blank stare.

 

Not the right answer.

 

So, we were headed for Kemp’s. I purchased the wrong skates, inquired about the return policy and made sure that we could return them unworn, unsharpened if they turned out to be the wrong skate., which I was almost positive they were…but again, I didn’t know.

 

We get to Kemp’s, Doug laughing at me the whole way for the simple fact that 1) I knew where the hockey store was, and 2) he knew how this was all going to end up.

 

We meet up with a wonderful young man who we asked to help us fit Isaac properly for skates. Turns out he got his start in the youth hockey program where Isaac is starting! YIPEE!

He fitted Isaac properly for a pair of skates, thereby letting us know that the kind we bought were too flexible for Isaac and were also a full size too large!

 

Yeah. Great.

This meant we had to take the wrong skates back. Thank the good lord I asked about the return policy.

Stop laughing at me for not listening to my gut. I did enough yelling at myself the entire time we were driving back to Dick’s.

So, after purchasing the proper skates, stick (with pirate theme grip tape) and hockey undies, we made the trek back to the offending store. I walked in with the bag, and was greeted by the customer assistance person at the door. She asked me what was wrong with the purchase, and  I told her-

Wrong size and too flexible.

She looked at me funny and pointed me to the guy at the register.

 

So, the lesson here in all of this is that I should go with my first instinct and NOT with the one that comes when I’ve done something stupid and I’m trying to consolidate travel.

 

Man. Hockey is complicated!

 

“So, do you have a good dental plan?”

Yeah. My friend asked me that. She’s lucky I’ve known her since high school and I have one of her kids in my computer classes at school AND is my favorite pampered chef consultant… Otherwise, I’d have to whack her.

What brought her to ask me this pivotal question?

What did I do to make her wonder about my dental coverage?

I signed Isaac up for youth hockey.

Yes, you all read that right. Youth Hockey. This level is called “learn to skate for hockey” and is the first in the progression towards full out hockey. How did this all come about? Frankly, I’m still in shock that I did this, but it all started, as it always does, with an announcement from the shrimp…

“Mommy. I want to join the River Rats.”

(do you all hear the sound of forehead hitting hand here?)

After a long explanation that first, he couldn’t skate and secondly he was too young-he announced this:
“mommy-I want to play hockey.”

Ok, I can get behind that. It must have been providence that I opened my email the  next morning and saw that the school PTO email list had sent out a list of activities and announcements (they do it every week) and one was a “learn to skate” and “learn to skate for hockey.” Hrm.

So, I made some phone calls on my break at work, and found out that it was an option for us. I quickly signed the small boy up and proceeded to update my facebook status to “oh, my, what have I done?” or something like that.

I didn’t let the small boy in on the whole thing until Sunday morning. I just didn’t want to hear all weekend about hockey, hockey, hockey. Meanwhile, I’d been quietly scoping out where to get certain hockey items that we can’t get through the loaner program-and wouldn’t want to…Really-I’m not allowing my child to use someone else’s hockey undies. No thanks.

Sunday morning rolls around and I get the small boy dressed and we head off to the open house. He thought we were going to take him to play on the trains at Barnes and Noble. Nope. Not at all. We drove to the ice rink, where we found that it was colder inside the rink than it was outside the rink! YIKES!

I then asked my darling crazy child if he wanted to still learn how to play hockey, and he excitedly yelped at the top of his lungs and ripped off his seat belt.

Thank goodness there were the coaches to help us gear up. We made a choice to use loaner gear for this season, as hockey costs add up FAST. Hardcore fast. For just pads and things, you’re looking at 100.00 on the low end of things. YIKES! And being my child is supertiny, and still growing, he’ll most likely outgrow things faster than we can buy them! eek!

Starting in November, I’m going to no longer be soccer mom, I’m going straight to hockey mom!

And yes, I’ve already put Dr. Nancy, Dr. Jen and Dr. Jason on alert…

 

The great backpack fiasco of 2009, the reprise!

Let me start this tale by saying that I hadn’t planned on this happening. Seriously. I hadn’t. But, Isaac demanded that I send applesauce in with him, in his Star Wars thermos, so I did. BUT, he didn’t close it all the way, and whammo. Applesauce all over the pack.

We did what any parent worth their salt would do. Empty the pack and toss it in the washing machine with the next load of wash, which happened to be towels. We’ve done this with all of our packs and bags, both REI, EMS and LL Bean. We have never, ever, ever had a pack come out of the wash looking like this:

Needless to say, I was NOT impressed with the LL Bean backpack that we had fought so hard to get. Knowing full well LL Bean has a satisfaction guarantee, and that we needed a backpack for the morning, I called the local store.

I had a nice chat with a kindly gentleman, who totally understood my predicament and really wanted to help me out…but they don’t carry the LL Bean Original Bookpack in the store. They only have them online.

Yes, I knew that.

So, I told him that I didn’t care if we got a deluxe bookpack or whatever, as long as we had SOMETHING that met the following criteria:
1) was red.
2) was large enough to hold snowpants, a lunch box and other assorted things in the winter.
3) was small enough for a kindergartener’s back.
4) Would last for a few years.

He told me he had two things in stock-
1) the deluxe bookpack.
2) the critter backpack, which has a shark on it.

Now, the only problem is that these two backpacks cost a bit more than the one I purchased. I was NOT willing to pay for the upgrade to the backpack. I wanted a straight out even exchange if I was going to be made to get a more expensive pack.

I explained this to the kindly gentleman on the phone who explained that he couldn’t do this without a manager’s approval.

I understand that. It’s at least at $10.00 difference!

Now, it’s here that some people would say that I’m being unreasonable. I don’t think I am after what we went through to GET the pack in the first place, and the fact that we had purchased it in July, never even took it out of the package until September and my child had only used it to and from school for not even 3 weeks. Also, to refresh memories, I was given lectures on how I was going to ruin my child’s bones by purchasing the pack that I did, even though I explained I knew how to load a backpack and would be sure to watch out for overloading…and how can you overload a kindergarten backpack? I even did my homework on ratings, age appropriateness and the like. So, I don’t feel I’m being unreasonable.

Back to the tale…

Kindly gentleman puts me on hold and comes back and lets me know that the manager had approved the even swap, due to our immediate need and extenuating circumstances. I tell the nice guy that I’ll be in to get the pack in about 30-45 minutes.

I hop in the car and head down to the mall and the LL Bean store. I walk in and take the pack to the register. Explain the whole story, tell them that there’s a critter pack waiting for me and that I just need to do the whole exchange.

Then, I see her. One of the lecture givers…and she said “Oh, is that the jr. backpack?”
I told her it wasn’t and got the eye roll…then, she accused me of putting the pack in the DRYER.

Umm..the pack was still wet from the washer! How could it have even come CLOSE to going through the dryer?

As I’m being rung out, the clerk notices that the critter pack was more expensive than the backpack I was returning. I explain what I was told on the p hone, and they bring back Ms. Lecture. She ok’s the even exchange and I go on my way…to deliver this:

To a waiting 5 year old, who was beyond happy that his new backpack was:
1) red
2) had a shark on it.

Now, can we please just get through the year without another fiasco that involves a backpack or a part of Isaac’s room?

 

Special Needs and Kindergarten, the parent’s perspective

As anyone who has read this blog knows, the transition from the school Isaac was at to this one has been nothing short of an arduous journey. When you are the parent of a not-so-obvious special needs kid (you know, one that looks the same as everyone else but is a bit left of center.. and isn’t obviously autistic), it’s a given that at some point, you’ll just want to throw your hands up and scream as you wonder if anyone actually gets it. Does anyone read the reports? Does anyone really pay attention to what your child actually needs versus what’s worked with 95% of the other children they see on a daily basis? Will the staff and teachers at the school STOP patronizing you and actually treat you as part of the team?

It becomes this brutal dance that no one really wants to dance. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’ve got that awful pair of shoes that looks like an absolute knock out, but hurts your feet to the point of cutting off your circulation. It’s just like the time I drove to an interview that was a serious hike away and the shoes just looked AWESOME with the outfit, but I drove in my Hello Kitty slippers because I couldn’t stand the way they felt on my feet.

Right now, even on day 4 of kindergarten, I don’t know if I made the right choice sending Isaac to a public school. There are times I think it’s wonderful-like the way he gets on the bus and rides like a champ- and times I think this is just the worst thing ever created-like when the school calls and freaks me out by NOT leaving a message because it’s just not that big of a deal.

There are times I wonder if they’ve ever picked up Isaac’s IEP report and really gone through it or just wanded  bar codes for goals based on some stupid basic screening that he didn’t feel like doing at the time.

But then again, none of the private schools I visited felt just right either. One felt too one sided-one behavioral approach fits all-another was just all sorts of wrong. It was so wrong it made Isaac shut down for 2 days. He spent 100% of his OT session in a barrel. He was that upset.

I knew when I selected his preschool that it was just right. It was the perfect fit for him. Now, I’m not so sure if I’ll ever find that perfect fit for him again.  Where do you put a smart, funny, goofball of a kid who needs sensory supports to function through his day, but can’t stand to be away from his friends?

There are so many questions and not enough answers.

I’ve got lots of people telling me to wait it out and things will get easier-this pair of shoes I’ve got on right now will do some stretching and break in. I hate to say it, but I don’t know if that’s what will happen or not. I’ve got the teacher telling me that he’ll settle in, but it will take time. I’ve got my child pulling shenanagins on the staff-when do I tell them that this is garbage and when do I let them figure it out on their own-if they will figure it out without me having to tell them. Then I’ve got me and my knowledge of what is correct procedure and compliance and what is not.

Welcome to Holland. Seriously. Welcome to Holland.  I’ve found some of the nice things about the place, but the wooden shoes suck.

 

How I stopped complaining and learned to sort of like suburbia.

The first soccer game of the rec season was today, and it was quite the sight. Isaac belongs to team Kiwi…Yeah…BRIGHT green. Seriously, bright green.

See?

We had the AFO’s that Rob had so awesomely rigged to hold the shin guards…

And yet I was totally afraid.

Of what?

Well, remember last time we tried to play soccer? Isaac ended up getting beaned in the face intentionally by another kid. He was tripped, made fun of and asked to do things that with AFOs, are impossible. It went so poorly, I didn’t know what to think. Those parents were out for blood, guts and total other team annihilation. NOT my idea of how beginning sports should be!

Plus, I remember when I played sports, it was the parents again who were horrid.

So, it was with huge trepidation that I stepped on to the soccer field in the E. Nowhere suburbia that I live in.

Turns out, my worries were for nothing.

The coach explained to the kids on team Kiwi that their objective was to play a bit and have fun, take turns and possibly get the ball into the net. Kindergarten-3rd grade teams don’t keep score or win-loss records. It’s all about coming out and having a good time in the fall air.

Coach Greg swapped the players out as much as he could, so everyone could play in their team dresses shirts.

Note-whoever ordered the shirts for the kindergarten division-YOUTH LARGE  (size 12-14) is a dress on 100% of kindergarteners!  Just sayin.

Isaac got to run and chase the ball

Play goalie

Hear the other parents cheer for him, tell him he did an awesome job, even though he missed the ball, and learn the basics of good sportsmanship.

Coach Greg got them all lined up at the end of the game (by this time it was drizzling rain. My camera went back to the car..) for the post game handshake.

He had them play follow the leader with their right hand out (and they had to switch to their other right!) and high five and tell the other team good game.

Ok, so suburban fall soccer at least for now isn’t so bad. I at least got to stop complaining and sort of like the E. Nowhere I live in. It’s got some decent things going for it!

 

The back to school roller coaster

There’s a lot going on around here. With school starting and the like, it’s been one heck of a ride the past few weeks.

When you have a special needs child that goes to kindergarten or even changes schools, it just becomes that extra bit of twitch factor that other parents don’t have. Add that to everything else, and you get a back to school roller coaster that just doesn’t slow down.

Personally, I’d like this coaster to pull into the station, but I know when it does, I’ll complain that life is boring again (especially here in E. Nowhere) and I’ll wish to be back on.

So, here’s the latest roller coaster set of moments.

Now that Broken Bed fiasco 2009 has ended with a successfully fixed bed, we can all laugh at the latest piece of delusion that came through my mailbox-
a card thanking us for our purchase.
No, not kidding.
a week of screaming, sobbing and being totally glad that the boys weren’t here so that the bed could get fixed in peace, and we get a postcard for a year old bed? What?
Whatever.
Will I patronize this store again? Most likely, at the location that gave us the most help. I, however, will not deal with the person who shares my name and her customer disservice.

Since coming back from the outlaws in Arizona, my darling shrimper has been nothing short of a pill. Massive pill. Rude, spoiled and entitled acting. That’s what happens when you hang with the outlaws too long. I spent the first week back retraining him that 1) being rude will get you nowhere but your room, with all priveleges revoked, like your television viewing, and 2) you may not have everything you see, control the agenda to your heart’s desire, or speak to me like I’m the hired help. Again, this will get you nowhere but your room, with no television.

And no, a 45 minute meltdown will STILL get you nowhere.

Charming, isn’t it?

Then, Shrimper thought it would be a good idea to explore the cabinets on the top of his wall. His room has built in cabinets, and these cabinets are almost at ceiling level. I get a call at work on my cell phone, and hear that he’s fallen off of the cabinets and hit his face. Yes, huge bruise and scrape on cheek and neck. Great way to show up to the first week of Kindergarten-bruises and scrapes. Joy.

And then, we had the biggest ride of all. The medication ride. Isaac’s ADHD meds are insanely expensive. Hardcore expensive. That’s even WITH insurance. So, we found a few coupons to cover at least one of the copays. That’s when the pharmaceutical companies began their rain on my labor day weekend. Our coupon was declined at the pharmacy, because we had used one, and it was one per person, per lifetime.

what? Really?

So, we come back, call the doctor and explain the situation. She comes back with a card that gives us 50% off of copays for 10 months.

Ok. we can get behind that.

so, I drive all the way down to the doc’s office, and then all the way back home so we can activate the card and get the meds, as we’re down to our last 2 pills and two pills and a bunch of days doesn’t add up around here, especially with kindergarten starting.

Let it be known that I disclosed what happened at the pharmacy to the doc’s office. They assured me that this would be just fine and work well.

Yeah, it didn’t work. So, I spent a better portion of two hours dealing with Shire pharmaceuticals and their idiot staff. Here’s how it all broke down…

First step-talk to customer service and explain the situation. Get an extremely rude rep, who makes sure that she lets me know that this is totally my fault, and that the doctor could NOT have told me that this card would work.
Finally, I get her to give me the number to patient assistance, and I thank her for her unhelpfulness.

Second step-Call the number that witch 1 gave me. Get understanding person who unfortunately confirms rude witch’s stuff, but hears me out and issues us a “second use” card for the price of the perscription. She informed us that the card wouldn’t get here until Friday. I also explain to her that the cost is prohibitive to us, even though we have insurance. She puts me through to patient assistance, where….

I get the most sarcastic, obnoxious rep ever. I explain the situation, explain the whole thing and he starts to get sarcastic with me. He tells me I have to fill out an application, and me, knowing that we’re almost down to our last pill for the shrimp, says “I don’t want to be filling out 80 yards of paperwork just to be denied.”

Jerk says: “well, if you mean one page equals 80 yards, than yeah, you’ll be filling out 80 yards of paperwork.” and then he laughed.

I broke into tears and told him he wasn’t funny.

THEN he had the nerve to tell me that this process could take at least 2 months, because since we had insurance, we’d be automatically denied, and we’d have to appeal.

Really? Automatic denial? What the…

So, since we can’t wait 30 days, I ask if he is the final word, because he’s refusing to do anything. He tells me that even his supervisor won’t do anything for me.

This is where I finally lost it. I told him the following:
“Too bad. Stuff gets overridden every day. You don’t say another word to me and I want your supervisor now.”

I get the supervisor and she almost gets her head taken off with the following statement:

“well, if you had called yesterday, you wouldn’t be in this situation! This is almost 7 pm on a holiday weekend…”

Everyone knows how well that line goes over with me.

Let’s review here…this medication is a SCHEDULE 2 CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE. This means you MAY NOT get it any sort of early. So, like the bed fiasco, how were we supposed to know that this was going to happen?

I very politely took her head off reminding her of this fact. I told her that because of the nature of the drug and their lack of any sort of urgency in this situation, that my child is being made to suffer. She then put me on hold.

She came back and they’re supposedly fed exing the card to me by tomorrow (tuesday). Should be interesting.

Meanwhile, we had our “booster pills” here, and we’ve been giving them to him, and we’ve kind of noticed something…

Shrimper’s disposition has changed drastically. We’d been dealing with the “whine monster” and wondering if it was just stress from changing schools, ect, or if it was the meds. With a 5 year old, it’s hard to tell.

So, Shire may have f’d up in our favor…letting us know that we had a side effect that we just chalked up to something else.

I’ll be on the phone with the neurologist’s office on Tuesday.

Then, the last piece is that of meet the teachers/aides/therapists. I’ve been trying to get answers out of the school all summer as to meeting Isaac’s aide and having him meet the teachers, ect. AND the biggest question-who is doing resource room for him. This is just what happens with a special needs kid. I’m still at the top of the hill on this wild ride with this one, so hopefully, these are only mini hills that will end on Tuesday morning.

 

Wacky neurologists and booster doses

Friday, we took Isaac back to the wacky neurologist for a med check and to make sure we didn’t have any tweaking to do. After any sort of ADD/ADHD med trial, you have to go back and talk to the doc. Plus, you have to get a new scrip for any sort of ADHD med every month-there’s no refills on them!

Argh! For the love of all things holy-I understand the need to regulate these drugs, but a new scrip every…stinkin..month? Hello annoying!

We had a few concerns-one being the times when Isaac needs to focus after the medication wears off. It’s hard knowing when that is, as when he’s home, it’s right around dinner/downtime/bedtime, so he can be all sorts of wacked out and be just fine with us. We noticed at VBS that he was having a harder time focusing on things about halfway through, so we asked Dr. WackyNeuro (Oh, this woman IS wacky-I was warned about her from the social worker  and head teacher in Isaac’s school as well as the new PT at the new school! She lived up to all of her reputation for being oddball…but she’s damn good!) and she had this solution…

Isaac is on Vyvanse. You can’t do any sort of Vyvanse booster because of a release time. So, she figured that an immediate release adderal would be the perfect solution-in his system fast, out of his system fast. This would give him the control he needed to focus and keep his stuff together through the later part of the evening.

Hrm. Ok. Sounds good to me…

So we test ran it-Oh, my…what a complete difference this made! It made one of the parents even ask me what they did and how she could get it for HER child that has the same problem with later nights and the Vyvanse.

Now, for all of the people who think I’m  medicating my child around the clock-here is my answer-I only use the booster when we need it. When Isaac is struggling to keep it together later in the evening and when he’s expected to function properly (and so wants to, but can’t) past the normal cut off time of the meds, that’s when we boost. Otherwise, those adderal stay in the bottle.

We’ll see how things roll with this when the boys go to Arizona. Hopefully the adderal will STILL stay in the bottle…

 

The backpack saga

As if this kindergarten experience hasn’t been irritating enough, we’ve had to endure The Great Backpack Fiasco of 2009.

The one thing we were sure of this year was that we were going to get Isaac a new backpack for Kindergarten. It wasn’t an option. He’s had the same LL Bean backpack since 2 year old program! It’s this amazing pawprint camo, and is showing hardly any sign of wear…but this is kindergarten. Plus, he’s asked for a RED backpack.

Mom had this extra 10.00 bonus gift card from LL Bean, and wasn’t going to use it, so, she passed it our way. Hey-it made the backpack effectively half price! I can get behind that! We ordered it at the end of May, before all of the lists came out, because a backpack is a backpack and we frankly didn’t want to lose the coupon.

Based on a few reccomendations, we ordered the Junior pack, thinking that it woul make it through the first two years of public school. Plus, Isaac’s a peewee. He may be strong, but he’s pretty slight. We figured, based on both of our backpacking expertise, that this wouldn’t be overloaded and he wouldn’t go over.

Then the LIST came home. The  list that has been giving me nightmares. Stupid Crayola glue sticks anyone? But this isn’t about the stupid Crayola glue sticks..this is about the backpack.

The LIST stated that it had to be a “large” backpack. Yes, a large backpack. So, I get on the phone with the school and find out that the backpack that we’ve purchased IS NOT LARGE ENOUGH! Lord love a duck. First the stupid glue sticks and now this? Argh.

So, I call LL bean and tell the tale of the too-small backpack. I get told to bring it in, and they’ll swap it out for the next size up. I’ll just have to pay the difference. No biggie. Easy…or so I thought.

The first time I went, they didn’t have all of their packs in stock, and the size that I needed wasn’t there. I was told that the rest of the shipment would be in by the 21st, and the size I needed would most likely be in at that point. Ok. Fine. No biggie. I can get behind that.

So, on the 22nd,  I call the store to make sure that they have the proper pack in stock. I’m not running down there for no good reason, because we’re on the way to speech, and it was just supposed to be a fast pit stop. I get told that they have what I’m looking for, which was an original backpack in red. Just plain red. No camo, no sports patch. Just red.

I bring Isaac in with me, and start the search for the backpack. I find where they’ve got all of the packs, and I don’t see the original. I see the deluxe and the original plus, as well as rolling ones, critters and sport packs…and the dreaded junior pack.  NO originals. None.

So, I flag an associate down to help me-I ask her to point me in the right direction of the original book packs, and she gets on the radio asking for a JUNIOR pack. umm..no, that’s not what I wanted. I made that clear-I told her-I wanted an ORIGINAL pack, not a junior.

This is where I start beginning to smoke at the ears and see stars.

So, she gets the person who I talked to on the phone and that person starts in on me about how she didn’t know I wanted a JUNIOR pack-I cut her off, and told her I didn’t want a junior pack-I just wanted an original. Not a deluxe, not a super sport not a messenger bag, but an original. It’s just a small step up from the junior, and I wanted it in red for the small boy who was getting more and more antsy by the second.

She begins to go on this insane tirade about how I’m going to overload his backpack and ruin his bones, and how she would not even think of selling me a bigger backpack than the one I had in my hand. We went back and forth and back and forth and finally, we had to leave or Isaac would have been late for speech. I still had the dreaded junior pack and was just two tons of more confused than I walked in.

I let the junior pack sit in my car for the rest of the week. I couldn’t take another run in with LL Bean people who were trying to make me keep what I had in my hand that I knew wouldn’t fit the bill.

So, today, after our latest adventure with Lowe’s Build and Grow, I convinced Doug to make the trek, once again, this time, for the FINAL time in this escapade to LL Bean. I made him come in with me for moral support and I just decided-I wasn’t going to go to the backpack area until I had successfully returned the backpack and had the credit from the gift cards in hand. That’s all I wanted….if I ordered or not, that was a different story-who knows…

We had Isaac with us, so he could make the final call regarding his backpack. For cripe’s sake, this is HIS. He needs to have the final word.

So, I walk up to the register and tell them that I had ordered this pack and it wouldn’t hold all of what Isaac needed for school, so I needed to upgrade it. I paid for it with a gift card, so a gift card was just fine for the refund.

LET THE LECTURE BEGIN!!

Person at the register began to start the argument that this was the right sized pack, ect, ect. I told her I knew that, but, this wouldn’t hold everything we needed on a daily basis, and we just needed the original that was a step up from what we currently had. It wasn’t a big deal. So, I let her go through the motions of suggesting a critter pack and a sports pack, which I knew Isaac didn’t want. He just wanted a red backpack. Nothing fancy, just a red  backpack. I politely told her I would go peek at them, and she did my return.

I asked Isaac what he wanted- a critter pack (choice of shark or spider to match his lunch box..) and he said he wanted red.

I knew it. I don’t know why I even bothered asking…

So, I wandered over to the kiosk, and thank goodness, I didn’t need an employee to help me, as they’ve put a new function in that automatically does the freebie shipping thing.  I got the order done and then disaster hit…

The computer had my old addy in it! The one from when we first moved back here!
Oh, no, that backpack is NOT going near that old place! So, I had to grab an employee for damage control. They quickly picked up the phone and did that lovely damage control and changed the addy on the shipping thing so that it comes to my house now instead of the ghetto apartment.

The email confirmation said that it would be coming here…so, now we wait for the pack to show up and transfer the bag tag from his current pack and finally attach the dinosaur patch that he so wants on his red backpack.

I swear. I say this over and over and over again, but it’s so true-Kindergarten should NOT be this hard!

 

Biting the bullet

For a long time, we’ve been pressured by the school that Isaac currently attends to have him tested for ADHD. They had done their own rating scales and spent countless hours trying to convince me that getting him looked at for this would be a good thing. I pretty much told them no-for a few reasons…

First off, Isaac had no language until age 2. His language delay could have been the reason for the impulsivity and lack of attention span. hey-when you can’t tell someone what you want, you just go do it-damn the consequences.

Second, since he had the language delay, there was a lack of maturity in his actions-plus, we had sensory stuff that needed to be addressed. I wanted some time for him to grow, gain skills and see if some easy educational supports would correct the issue. Sometimes, that’s the case. I’ve seen it happen-just a few more minutes to process, a more distraction free place can work wonders for a kid.

So, I pushed them to do those things, which once they finally heard me out, they agreed to. (Wondering if the school district will ever get to this point…but I digress)

Finally, after a few key incidents this year, I decided it was high time that I had this looked into. We got the referral from the primary care doc (not without some other issues…but we won’t go there) and made the call to the office to get an appointment. That was a fiasco in itself, what with sending a 50 page fax to bypass the screening that they make all ADHD candidates go through so they can determine that it’s something they can handle, the idiot registration person (“My name is Paige. P-A-I-G-E , and I don’t care if you talk to my supervisor, because I’m not going to get in any sort of trouble.”), and then having people at the school district tell me that the date for the appointment was too far away, and to  move it up. Umm…I got the appointment (with one of the only games in town) for 5 weeks from the time I called. In my opinion, that wasn’t bad, as the wait for this doc can be a LOT longer than that.

We got in, got the formal diagnosis we all wanted and came out with some meds, which my sister is twitching about. That’s just her pharmacist self…but I appreciate and love the fact that she does twitch about this stuff.

It’s hard to see your child on what basically amounts to an amphetamine to slow him down and make him focus. I feel like I’ve almost succumbed to the “hot” diagnosis of the 90’s-ADHD and tossed my child on that train.

I have to constantly remind myself that I bit the bullet and did this for the results we’re seeing-less of the fussing and fighting, less impulsivity, a longer focus time, which means more learning time.

It’s an interesting catch 22. you don’t want your child on meds, but sometimes they need it. It’s just a whirlwind of emotions and really sitting down and putting your “bad parent” feelings in check and allowing what’s best for the kiddle come through.

Am I comfortable with this whole thing? Not totally. It brings new surprises every single day. But, if biting the bullet in this respect makes a difference for Isaac and allows him to learn and grow more than he would have without it, I’ll do it.

 

My free range kid

I’ve always been that kind of person who is on the go. Constantly. Isaac seems to have the same trait…but I’m trying to kick that in the tush now. After the farmer’s market fiasco, I was so upset by the fact that my child had to be at what we call in the sped department-closely supervised-be in arm’s reach at all times. Why can’t my 5 year old be in my eyesight? Why do I have to be that close so as to smother him? What’s the deal?

 

That’s when I found Free range kids. Holy cow. What a breath of fresh air! This site (and coresponding book) teaches the nervous parent that allowing a child some freedom-the time to be bored, the independence to do things on their own, based on their age and skill set-is not a bad thing. This mom let her child (then 9) ride teh NYC subway alone, wtih a map and a cell phone because he wanted to and she knew it was ok. Fine! Cool!

But this backfired on her as I saw my playground experience backfired on me. She became the subject of media scrutiny-the worst parent in America? Not in my book!

It has taken me a while to realize that Isaac does need some downtime-there’s no reason to schedule life and things. When you are a first time parent, you want all of the advantages, to the detriment of the kiddle. I’m working on being a free-range parent-I did it as a kid. I was a free range kid. We were out all of the time, rode our bikes everywhere, on our own. We came out just fine. Totally fine.

People need to remember this and use common sense-not be the most hypervigilant society. Kids need space, time and some lack of parental involvement-not to the point where they’re unsafe, but so that they can explore, create and be them.

I guess that’s what I’m working on now. Giving Isaac the space to know downtime is OK-that it’s OK to play in your room and be weird. To create, to mold and to be you.

Free ranging isn’t for everyone-but it works for me.