Of toilet seats and almost exploding cookie sheets

July 30, 2006 at 8:29 pm Leave a comment

This is the adventure weekend I’ve had. It’s been one of those weekends. First, we had the toilet seat fiasco.

Friday evening, the toilet seat cracks in half. Verrrry uncomfy. So, Isaac and I take a trip past the road construction to Home Depot. We get to the depot to find out that there are 2 kinds of toilet bowls. Elongated and round. I have no clue what we have, so Mr. Super Helpful Home Depot guy (SHHDG) takes me over to the section of toilets and explains the differences. Thank god for SHHDG! I would have bought the WRONG seat! We get some coffee (milk for the boy) and head home. I toss little into bed and attempt to figure out HOW to put on the new seat, being as Doug wasn’t home and I wanted to surprise him with a NEW toilet seat! Wheeeeellll…leave it to the new house to have a toilet seat that is most unconventional. There was no way you could get through the top of it to get to the bolt and nut. You had to unscrew the bottom plastic bolt and then pull out the metal screw. Lovely.

Doug starts the job Sat. Morning. He gets the first side off, and then I hear the typical Doug tantrum of frustration coming from the bathroom. He can’t get the 2nd side off. OF COURSE it’s the side right next to the wall, so you really can’t get into it. I kick him out and start working on it while Isaac’s down for a nap. I end up cracking the nut and basically being screwed. No pun intended. So, I go on about my day, get caught in a rainstorm (another post…) and come back and start working on this stupid toilet seat AGAIN. I finally get SOOOO frustrated that I do the last resort item. CALL MOM AND DAD. They come over, and dad ended up having to break the plastic nut and pull it out that way. This was after working with my new vice grips that we got from a SHLowe’sG and a hacksaw we purchased from same SHLG. So, I installed the toilet seat as well as a new shower head that we needed, as the other one was cracked and spraying water all over the place.

This morning, I decide I want to make breakfast for the crew. While Isaac was watching “Donald Grump and the Grouch apprentice” on Sesame street, I went in to the kitchen to make french toast sticks. Sounds nice, right? I t hought it was a good plan. Someone had other ideas.

I preheat the oven and put the cookie sheet into the oven with said french toast sticks. All of a sudden, I hear hissing and a popping sound. I figured it was the oven working, because I’m not totally used to the gas oven yet. THen, I hear IT. A large BANG and POP. I zip into the kitchen, ask Doug to keep Isaac occupied and turn on the light in the oven. The cookie sheet is now tented and so popped up, food is falling off of the sheet. I quick turn off the oven, grab whatever french toast sticks out of the oven I can (to throw out as they weren’t done!) and quickly shut the oven JUST IN CASE. I started to pray that things wouldn’t blow up the house.

Doug came back to the house before me, and pulled the sheet out of the oven. I got a good look at it…it’s puffed up STILL and there is a split at the seam. I emailed wearever, the people that make the sheets, and we’ll see what they have to say. In the meantime, I’m throwing it out, and NEVER buying something like this again.

Now…does anyone have any NEW home improvement projects for me?

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Entry filed under: insanity.

oh, and one more thing… Oh, and one more thing…

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