The saga of the paint

May 21, 2008 at 3:52 am Leave a comment

So, yesterday, I go to Home Depot to get the paint to get rid of the bad latte brown on my walls (and no, that doesn’t make me a bad barista for not wanting the color on the walls of a room…)and I figured this would be uneventful. What could be so hard about getting 3 gallons of paint and the paraphanalia to go with it?


Ok. All of you. STOP LAUGHING. Just stop.


I head into the Depot and grab some grass seed (the lawn looks atrocious. Yeah…we’re not even going there.), and head over to the paint department. There’s a tech calibrating the machines, so they can’t mix paint, so I start getting my brushes, rollers, paint trays and a corner painter, which Doug calls my “cheater tool.” Having all of this, I wander over to the now-crowded paint counter and take my place in line, with my color cards-cactus green and baby roo. Everyone is standing nicely, waiting their turn with the ONLY paint guy behind the counter. Meanwhile, Tech Guy is calibrating the other paint machine, so Paint Guy has one machine going.

All of a sudden, Woman in an ugly maroon t-shrit (WIAUMTS) comes up to the back of the counter and starts bothering Tech Guy (who is just a tech guy-not a Home Depot worker) about some deck stain. This is how the conversation went down:

WIAUMTS: I need you to help me now. I need some stain.

Tech Guy: Well, I’m only here to calibrate the paint machine, so, I really can’t help you, because I don’t know where anything is.

WIAUMTS: Well, I need deck stain NOW.

(Tech guy looking at all of us who have been waiting for a while to get our paint/stain/whatever…)

Tech Guy: You really need to go to the front of the counter and they’ll help you from there.

(all of us look aghast…)

WIAUMTS: (To the woman standing next to me)- You’re not in this line are you?

Woman standing next to me: Yes. I am. I’m next, then she’s next (pointing to me) and then her, and him and her.

WIAUMTS : God. I’m never going to get out of here before 3.

So, finally Home Depot sends another employee to back up poor Paint Guy. Since I’m next in line, Paint Girl helps me out while Paint Guy does woman before me, and gets done with her and moves on to the next wacko customer who decided it was time to argue about a shade of grey (Driftwood Grey versus just Driftwood) and then argue about quart versus gallon. That was so insane, I’m not even going to detail that one.

So, while I’m being helped by Paint Girl, WIAUMTS starts interrupting my time, as I was hemming and hawing over semi-gloss versus high sheen. For the record, I went with Semi-Gloss. That went like this:

WIAUMTS: I need deck stain. I need you to help me NOW.

Paint Girl: Ma’am, you’ll have to wait a few minutes, because I’m helping her now, and then I know there are at least 2 more people in front of you.

WIAUMTS: Well, I need deck stain!

Paint Girl (looking at me apologetically) I’ll be with you as soon as I can. (turns back to me and we decide on 2 gallons of Cactus Green and one of Baby Roo in semi gloss-and discover that the Disney colors are the same price as the regular Behr colors! Whoopie!!! I can get Disney colors without paying an arm and a leg! YIPEE!!)

WIAUMTS huffs and stands there.

So, Paint Guy is done with Ms. Driftwood Grey vs Driftwood, and moves on to the next customer in line, and finally, Paint Girl gets to WIAUMTS.

The same conversation about stain starts again. Paint Girl goes and gets the stain, and starts programming the color of the stain into the computer so it can be mixed. Meanwhile, WIAUMTS is going behind the paint counter to argue over the fact that the computerized system put in too much of one color and not enough of another.

This woman spent an entire 9 minutes harassing the poor Paint Girl over the stain. Those of us who were still at the counter (I was waiting for my paint to be shaken. They’ve got like 4 machines, and I had 3 gallons, and there were a few people ahead of me for the shaker.) were mortified/felt bad for the paint staff/thought this woman was delusional. It was like a train wreck in slow motion. You know, the kind you can’t look away from, but you know damn skippy that you really shouldn’t be watching this.

Finally, I got my paint and stirrers and headed off to get a drop cloth, and this woman was STILL going on and on and on.


And I thought it ended there.


So, I take my paint and paraphanalia home, and Isaac comes out to help me get the stuff out of the car. He can carry rollers and things in… Well, he notices where I’ve been-and he’s been on one of those jags that 4 year olds go on…you know…Right now, it’s a Home Depot Jag. The incessant chatter about the Depot and every time we pass by, the line “are we going to Home Depot? Tony Stewart drives the Home Depot Car! ” There’s more to that conversation, but I’m not going to go there, because I need my sanity. So, Isaac notes that the paint is from Home Depot and this happens…

“Mommy-you went to home depot all by yourself? You bought paint?”

“yes, I went to Home Depot, Yes, I got paint. Can you please put the rollers on the couch?”

“The paint you got at the Home Depot is green! Tony Stewart drives the Home Depot car…”

At this point, I cut off the conversation, because I know where it’s going and I’m just not in the mood to go there after the WIAUMTS.

“Isaac-can you please go and put this (the paint tray..) in the room for me?”

Isaac wanders away, still muttering about Home Depot.


What I do to get some seriouly ugly Latte Brown off my walls.


Entry filed under: customer service, insanity.

See? Even the neighbors know how bad this is! Wordless Wednesday, 5/21/08

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