Lord love a duck…

June 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm 3 comments

So, last night was my uncle’s fiancee Angela’s bridal shower. It was a swanky cocktail afair, at a local kind of bistro. Not my scene normally, but for Angela, it can be my scene for a few hours.

So, the party was scheduled from 5-9, and Angela had no idea what was going on, and they brought here there around 5:30, so everyone could get there, get settled in and they could surprise Angela. The food was amazing (lots of neato h’ors d’erve stuff-stuff that you’d see on Top chef and all of that. YUMMMMMM) and nice people. 

Ok, why am I blogging this? Yes, I do have some pictures, but you’ll all see those later in the week (right mom?).

Well, for starters, 100% of my freak family was invited. There was one good excuse among the batch-my sister, who had a wedding the same night, or she would have come.

The Social Retard’s mom and SIL claimed “dance recital”-whatever. They weren’t going to show up anyhoo. That whole family is like the Grasshoppers in a “Bug’s Life”-They come, they eat, they leave. And usually have some lame excuse as to WHY they need to leave. It’s usually dog related. Not kidding.

So my one aunt and one cousin were supposed to show up. Start time of shower comes, goes and the party is starting to break up around 8-ish. Not a sighting of them. We’re all not shocked, as we didn’t think they were coming in the first place.  I called Doug (since this was a cocktail affair, and not too far from my house, I had Doug drop me off and pick me up) to come and get me.  Mom and her cousin come out to wait with me, and while we’re waiting, who drives up, but the aunt and cousin who were supposed to be there on time. My cousin leans out the window and says “Are they still in there? We got lost 5x.”

Mom, Mom’s cousin and I are all in complete shock. Mom says that they’re still in there, but I warn them that things are winding down.

They go and park and walk in, and I note that they are wearing the most atrocious clothing ever created. Cousin is wearing a pair of yoga pants, (for once) without something emblazoned on the ass and a fitted tank top and bra. Aunt is just as bad, if not worse. She’s wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt with her bathing suit tied underneath it around her neck. The shirt has some sort of little league logo on it.

I wonder where in their delusional brains that this was OK to wear to a swanky affair that had engraved invitations (circular at that!) and said it was a “cocktail party.” Also, this place is VERY easy to find. It’s right by a major theater in the area. And I mean right next door.

Basically, they need to stop their garbage. The way they were dressed, the way they walked in, ect, you know dang skippy they spent the day at the pool and just decided at the last hot second that they would go to this.


I’m quite disgusted.

Lord love a duck (as my good buddy and awesome co-worker Wendell used to say when he was totally flummoxed by something) Why do they have to pull this garbage. It’s really quite stupid and immature.
but whatever. Angela and crew know the score, and if they didn’t before, they really know it now.


Entry filed under: annoyances, insanity.

2! I got hit with 2 Memes!!! Friday Fill Ins, 6/27/08

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. FloridagirlinSydney  |  June 22, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Not really sure what to say about the bathing suit under your clothes at the cocktail party– and why at the point of wrapping it up you’d still feel the need to make an appearance…
    but here’s some good news for you…
    Hey guess what I found that you can paste the html onto your blog:

    or the link to the site is:

    That should give you a little sunshine.

  • 2. Emma  |  June 25, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    Crazy people.

    Please tell me you received your Monkey Swap Package. I’m kind of panicked!

  • 3. Belladonna Boomslang  |  June 26, 2008 at 7:06 am

    Well, yes, family – at the least they can be counted on for good stories…

    My family tends towards more subtle, but long, drawn out, 80’s miniseries type drama which takes a while to be appreciated. Mostly they are ok, but when they aren’t, they don’t have dogs to fall back on, so….


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