Archive for October, 2008

It’s Halloween! That can only mean one thing…


And sitting in the pumpkin patch is the best place to be-Find the most sincere one…and the Great Pumpkin will come and visit.


October 31, 2008 at 8:36 am Leave a comment

Um, yeah, sure, right.

Yesterday, Isaac had his 2nd set of tubes placed in his ears. Not a big deal by any stretch of the imagination after what this kid has been through, but still, it requred a hospital visit….which freaks the poor kid out after last year’s debacle with Doug. So, needless to say, it was not an easy morning for us. Isaac came through like a champ and was bouncing off the walls by the time we got home.


So, when we got home, we noticed that the mail had arrived! Wow! Early mail! Neato bandito! Supposedly the Outlaws and Princess Pretendtocare sent Isaac Halloween stuff. After the baby toy debacle, we’re previewing any gifts from Princess Pretendtocare, so watching hte mail was imperitive.

In the mail, there was an envelope adressed to Doug. In Colostomy’s handwriting. Ok…

So, I have Doug open it, thinking it may be sometihing decent. STOP LAUGHING. I KNOW! I was delusional from the lack of sleep and the cold that I’m fighting…and a bunch of other things…

So, inside the envelope are 2 newspaper articles with “F.Y.I” and big smiley faces on them. One is about Food Stamps (yeah, right. We don’t need them, we don’t qualify, and for cripes sake, that’s our choice if we want to apply or not. ) and the other was an article all about how Tuscon needs minority teachers who are bilingual.


Let me repeat that.


Tuscon needs minority teachers that are bilingual.


Do we all see what this is?



A thinly veiled ploy on the part of Vapid to get us to move to Arizona.


Now, let’s discuss this-

First off, It’s bad enough I’m here in NY. It’s stinkin cold now and I’m tired of it already. For cripe’s sake we had snow. Now, most people would think that moving to Arizona would combat that…well, it’s on the other polar extreme of what I hate. SERIOUSLY STINKIN HOT. Nope. No thanks.


Second, why would they even want me near them? They constantly call me names and since Doug won’t give up any information on where I work or anything (that’s my my demand. Until they can learn to ask ME, and stop pumping Doug for information and then berating him when he won’t give ut up, they get no information whatsoever.), they tell him that I don’t want to be part of the family. Why are they doing this? Is it a delusional ploy to get near Isaac?  Doug even told me that Vapid talked his ear off abotu this for a half hour and when he said “well, you know, Laura’s not going to go for this…” she didn’t shut up.

lastly, I’m officially offended. How dare they send an article to Doug about teaching. He’s a NURSE. Not a teacher. That’s my occupation. Why not send that article to me? Had that happened, I’d be throwing it in the circular file and calling them their usual set of delusional names. First they say adopted kids aren’t real family, then they call me racial slurs and now this? What is it? Do you want me near you or do you think that I’m the scourge of society because I’m noth a minority and adopted?  And how can they be so delusional as to think that I’d even move closer to them, when I refuse to let them near Isaac unsupervised after several incidents where they have exercised questionable judgement in the way they handle my child.


Morons. They can’t have it both ways. Seriously. They can’t.


I’m quite happy at the ‘bux and in my computer lab, thank you very much. I will not be heading to Tuscon any time soon. As much as NY is a place I begrudginly call home, Arizona is not on my list of destinations where I’d really want to plant myself. It’s safer that way…for the outlaws that is.

October 31, 2008 at 1:50 am Leave a comment

So, I went to Rhinebeck….

And brought my mom…

Laura! Can you please take a picture of me that's not me eating??

(sorry Mom-this is the only shot I have of you from Rhinebeck…at least there’s not food in your mouth…)

I bought some stuff from Blue Moon Fiber arts, and oogled the sock monkeys at their booth….

Sock Monkeys...and lots of Socks that Rock!

I got 2 skeins of Christmas Balls and a few fun patterns, including the Sock Monkey pattern. Doug wants me to make Ooh and Aah of Playhouse Disney fame. I think I can oblidge.

and then I enabled Kim…

Seriously..Do I really need 2 skeins?

There she is, holding 2 skeins of Socks that Rock Dreidl. Chanukkah socks and handwarmers anyone??

Kinneared the Yarn Harlot

Signing her wonderful Canadian-ness to lots of books


Ok, I used my zoom to Kinnear her. Does it still count?

Met some new friends…

she knitted Ravelry's mascot, BOB! How stinkin cool is that??


Met the wonderfulness that is Jess and Casey from Ravelry

We even took our pic with Jess and Casey! Such celebrities!

I even did something so me, and wore a silly hat for a few minutes.
It's a FROG HAT! How cool is that?
Naah, I didn’t buy it…I couldn’t think of anyplace to wear it! It’s just too nice to wear when shoveling snow in E. Nowhere.

I also picked up a spindle kit and some fiber so I could start to do a bit of spinning. Let’s see how many new words I invent while I’m learning how to do this…

then, I did something that I wish I had gotten pictures of…I met Ann and Kay from Mason-Dixon knitting and got their new book…and got it SIGNED!

Even Mom got some yarn and things for her less exciting yarn-y pursuits. She does straight knitting. None shall be in the round..none shall be on DPN’s. That’s just mom.

But she does make the best dang mittens this side of the Mississippi!

So, Rhinebeck is over for another year, and I’ve got enough projects to keep me busy.

It was a blast-fun, wonderful and it was great having Mom along.

Doug was trying to make fun of me and said “So, what, next year you’re coming home with a spinning wheel?”

I said ‘Yep. But just a small one.”

He hung his head. He knew he never should have asked that question.

October 30, 2008 at 7:53 am 3 comments

Wordless Wednesday, 10/29/08

Mommy-stop taking my picture so I can reach the pedals! I want to drive the fire truck!!

October 29, 2008 at 9:16 pm Leave a comment

A very odd coincidence

Ever have one of those moments where things kind of all sorta make some or no sense at all, but it’s just an odd conicidence?


Yeah, I’m having one of those moments now.

 When Isaac was born, he spent 10 days in the NICU. I don’t wish that experience on anyone. Trust me. During his stay, Doug and I did anything we could to keep sane.

To keep ourselves sane in the NICU, we talked about anything we could. We pretended to be as normal as possible in the face of one of the most abnormal experiences that anyone could have. One of the things we did was talk NASCAR. Cripes. NASCAR in Imax was the last movie we saw before the little monkey arrived…

At one point during this coversation, the feeding specialist who was working with our then 3-day old child, decided to have a conversation with him…as we were debating the merits of one driver versus another, she chimes in with-

“No, no, no-the correct response is ‘Go Jimmie Johnson! Go Jimmie!”


Now, here we are, 4 years later and this is what the Monkey decides he’s going to be for Halloween…

Look! I'm Jimmie Johnson! I'm going to win the Sprint Cup!!

He had the choice of all costumes…he picked this one. Do you think that he heard the conversation? Do you think he knows what kept us sane?


Who knows, but whatever it is, it’s one heck of a coincidence.

October 27, 2008 at 9:36 am Leave a comment

Green Apron Tales-Drive thru hell

Here we go again….it’s time for another edtion of the Green Apron tales! Woohoo!


So, I opened Saturday morning with FloridaShift, who misses a warm climate as much as I do, if not more, and our newest Barista. I was to train her on how to open the store, because her availiblity is like mine. Early mornings. No biggie, just let’s learn how to do this. (and I have to come up with a good name for her. she’s totally cool…but we’ll get to that…)

So, as I’m showing her how to grind coffee, I hear an “OH NO!” from right over by the  brewer. Seriously. It wouldn’t be Saturday morning without me and FloridaShift and some drama. We’ve come in to no clean rags, being told we have no espresso…and all sorts of other things. Obviously, this is par for the course with us. We’re just used to it.

So, I go flying over to the brewer, leaving Newbie (I’ll get her a permaname later…) over at the grinder working on the Verona. There, I find what has FloridaShift all hot and bothered-a note from the night before saying that the spray head on the brewer is MISSING. They can’t find it anywhere.

Oh, brother. Oh, my. Down to one brewer and my gut telling me we’re going to get SLAMMED. So, FloridaShift calls the closest store, which happens to be run by our old assistant manager..and they’ve got the part we need.  She says this:

“Hey Laura-How do you feel about a road trip?”

I jump in my car- it’s 6:30 at this point, and I zip down to the other store, pick up the sprayhead and gun it back to my store. No traffic, no nuttin, so I’m back in no time at all. The brewer gets fixed and FloridaShift says that she’s going to amend the order so we get some extra sprayheads so we don’t have to go through this again. ARGH!

So, that was only the start of things.

Let’s just throw this out there…


If you have more than 4 drinks to order…or you have a LIST-COME INSIDE. Do NOT go through the drive thru. Also, DO NOT attempt to order an extra drink to your order at the window. That throws us all into a tizzy.

Let’s explain why this new rule is put into place…

So, we’re humming along and humming along, and all of a sudden this happens:


me: Hi and welcome to Starbucks ______________, what can I get you started today?”

Regular customer: “Morning! I’d like 2 iced upside down carmel macchiatos, 2 tall carmel frappucinos and a venti vanilla latte.”

me: (recognizing customer and inputting order into the expiditer at the same time..) “Hey-what, no americano today?”

Regular customer (laughing) That’s so sad you know my order….but no…not today…

Me: “ok, (gives total) come on up.”

30 seconds later…


me: Hi and welcome to __________________ Starbucks, what can I get started for you today?”
It’s here that I notice that dude is pulling out a list. I saw it all on the video camera…..

I cringe and wait for the order…

he orders 7 drinks, right after the last 5 drink order I had. I give him the total and have him pull up. He gets up to the window and then does this..

“I need a black iced tea, unsweetened-the biggest one you have. They just called me.”

OMG-dude-you’re kidding right?

NOPE. Not kidding.

This type of thing went on all day-we had another 8 drink order fly through not even 10 minutes later, and tehy added one at the window.


Oh, please, stop the insanity! Seriously! STOP IT!


New Rule #2-

You really shouldn’t lie about the amount of time you’re in the drive thru line. We know what the deal is and being nice to us gets you perks. Being snotty and all of that gets you nowhere.

here’s how THIS one went down….

Since we were so far in the weeds, and I’m not even going into how we got there other than the idiot patrol above that ordered 90 trillion drinks through the DTR…and I was getting ready to end my shift, FloridaShift pulled me to float.

I hear woman yelling that she had been waiting 42 minutes in the drive thru with no way to get out.


Yeah, right. I took her order while FloridaShift was on her half. She had been waiting maybe 20 minutes MAXIMUM. Seriously.

Drama Queen gave them a right now recovery, and FloridaShift explained the situation and she even remarked to me that she knew dang well that these people were nowhere NEAR in line 42 minutes.


So, there you have it..Drive thru hell.


Next time you go through one, just remember those two rules…and we’ll be fine.

October 26, 2008 at 7:18 pm 1 comment

Green Apron tales-Bad Juju drinks and drama queens

So, on Thursday, it seemed as if things would be shaping up for a good shift. It was all of the wacky regulars-MP, EmDawg and StalkerTarget (She has people coming in specifically looking for her. It’s devolved into a points game now…but I’ll go there another time..), as well as Senior Shift. Then, I looked at the DCR. You know, that thing that tells us who’s coming in when..and where they’re going.

and we saw it.

Drama Queen.

Oh, for the love of all things holy. Drama Queen entering the picture at the end of most of our shifts. ARGH. We figured we’d all start to steel ourselves for this. We were ready to hear her tales of closing the night before and then having to be in at oh, 1:15pm. She didn’t have to close. Really, she didn’t. She got asked and she agreed. That makes it HER fault. So, don’t complain.

So she shows up TWO HOURS EARLY for her shift. I’m over on the drive thru and I was helping EmDawg cover cafe. She comes up to me and starts kvetching that she had to close with one of the other regulars and was NOT happy about it. My question to her was “why did you say yes to closing? Really?”

So, she leaves, smokes, does her thing (whatever that may be) and then comes back LATE to get on the floor.

She spends her entire time with us kvetching about closing and kvetching to any customer who will listen about how exhausted she is.

Then, she played her favorite game. Wanna know what that is?

Of course you do!

It’s the “I think I’m a shift!” game!

this is the way it goes: She starts trying to boss everyone around, and gets all condsecending with the newbies!

Prime example: New guy 1 (I dont’ have a name for him yet. sorry y’all. ) got her drink to make. She goes to him and says “So, now, what exactly do you put in that?” LIKE SHE’S TRAINING HIM!!!!

and that’s just the beginning of that game…

So, we’ll leave it as all of us were so happy to leave. Seriously. Really happy.

Now, let’s go to last night. I went in to get my check and I needed a drink. Realizing that my stupid antibiotic doesn’t let me have lattes. (only a bit longer. really..) and I needed something, I ordered a carmel apple spice.

This is the drink I’ve dubbed my “bad juju” drink. The last time I had one of those, I got into a car accident. You know, the roll the car kind. So, needless to say I haven’t had it since that day.

I’m not sure if it’s bad juju or not yet. The verdict is out. I left out a part of the original roll the car order…and I’m not talking about what that part is, because it may be tempting the bad juju fairies. So, let’s just say for now, the hex is off of this drink.  We shall see. We shall see.

Oh, and just in case you all thought we had NORMAL customers…we didn’t.

One of the baristas was cafe sampling (passing around the cafe) our brand new signature hot chocolates. She gave one to a younger guy sitting in the cafe. As he left, he said to us “Thanks for the crack! Now I’m addicted to something else.”

Wow. Wacko.

October 18, 2008 at 4:29 pm 2 comments

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