Green Apron Tales-Newbies! Newbies! Newbies!

November 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm Leave a comment

Time for another installment of the Green Apron Tales!

Things have been pretty quiet at the ‘bux-Big W was away in New Orleans-where they got to hear flippin’ BONO speak. Must be nice.

So, on Thursday, I worked a usual insane shift, you know-buttcrack of dawn to 10:30am. Worked with the usual suspects…Senior Shift, McSPants and EmDawg. After the shift was over,I figured I’d go home, take a nap, get some things done and then get Isaac at his new aftercare program. This, of course was not to be. We got a call from another store…the poor Barista was sobbing. She had some wisdom teeth pulled (OUCHIES! Been there, Done that…so glad I don’t have to repeat it..) and was infected to the hilt. She needed to get to the doctor, and she needed someone to cover her shift.  McSpants took the call and was asking around. I asked him what times, and then thought better of it, and said “Let me talk to her..” and I got on the phone..and the mommy thing kicked in. I couldn’t stand to her her sobbing, so I said “Ok. I’ll come down RIGHT after I get off here, BUT, I have to be done by 3:30 at the latest, because I have to go get my son.”

This was also to protect my sanity, because I had been working since 4:45am!!

I was then told that I’d be out by 1:30. Ok, fine. Not a problem.

So, I get out, and gun down to the other store, where I meet the person I’m covering. The poor thing looks like a chipmunk. Argh.

On top of it, there’s a newbie training. She’s got her book out and is asking questions and going through the mandated training we all go through. She was asking all sorts of questions she was supposed to find out on her own. Argh.

So, finally, she puts down her book, and gets behind the bar to start learning how to brew coffee, steam milk and make basic drinks that everyone starts out with. I’m teaching her to steam milk and she’s totally afraid to do anything. She’s complaining that the coffee shuttles are “heavy” and that she doesn’t want to shuttle them. She won’t do the required espresso shot, and is flinching at testing any drink I make extra of for her to try. Come the heck on. She’s supposed to try every coffee, and it’s good to try as many drinks as you can, especially the seasonal beverages. Every single thing she was asked was met with a whine and a complaint that it was “hard,” “heavy,” or she was “scared” to do it.

Oh, my lord. This girl isn’t going to make it past the end of the week if she doesn’t get over it. Seriously.

Then, the next crop of newbies showed up for their indoctrination First Impressions class.  This poor manager. These 3 whooped and hollered their way through the first impressions section and then were all sorts of sitting and not doing anything that they were supposed to do. Oh, save me.


So, while this was going on, me and one of the Shifties were working the bar and register. This store has no DTR so I was thrilled NOT to have to wear a headset. We spent the time making drinks, ringing people and doing impressions of Tina Turner’s Proud Mary. Customers were alternately thrilled and horrified by the entertainment that we provided. Then again, some of the drinks that came through were more anal retentive than any that have ever come through my DTR at my store.

So, after Whiney-Newbie-who-is-scared-of -everything left, I asked shiftie what his impression of her was because I was very, very concerned about her making it. He said “Me too. But I’ve seen worse.”
Man. I hope she makes it. I know she’d die a slow and painful death at my store. I hope her store is kinder to her and the customers stop being totally take aback by her and the way she calls drinks and scares them senseless.


So, wanna hear the line of the day?

Today, I went in for a drink-not working-just went in for tips, markout and drink. Brought Monkey with me. Big W was on bar. I do not feel quite safe with him making my drink since the last two sabotage attempts on my drinks. First the 7 shot white mocha and then the horror of all horrors-the decaf drink.

So, I asked Isaac to tell him not to do anything insane, and not to put decaf in my drink. Isaac looked at Big W and said :
“W-Don’t put decaf in Mommy’s coffee!”


Smart, smart child. They need a pre-barista program for him. He can learn all of this stuff!


Entry filed under: green apron.

Now is the time on Sprockets when I feel as old as DIRT Student Council Hell

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