Special Needs and Kindergarten, the parent’s perspective

September 14, 2009 at 10:10 pm Leave a comment

As anyone who has read this blog knows, the transition from the school Isaac was at to this one has been nothing short of an arduous journey. When you are the parent of a not-so-obvious special needs kid (you know, one that looks the same as everyone else but is a bit left of center.. and isn’t obviously autistic), it’s a given that at some point, you’ll just want to throw your hands up and scream as you wonder if anyone actually gets it. Does anyone read the reports? Does anyone really pay attention to what your child actually needs versus what’s worked with 95% of the other children they see on a daily basis? Will the staff and teachers at the school STOP patronizing you and actually treat you as part of the team?

It becomes this brutal dance that no one really wants to dance. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’ve got that awful pair of shoes that looks like an absolute knock out, but hurts your feet to the point of cutting off your circulation. It’s just like the time I drove to an interview that was a serious hike away and the shoes just looked AWESOME with the outfit, but I drove in my Hello Kitty slippers because I couldn’t stand the way they felt on my feet.

Right now, even on day 4 of kindergarten, I don’t know if I made the right choice sending Isaac to a public school. There are times I think it’s wonderful-like the way he gets on the bus and rides like a champ- and times I think this is just the worst thing ever created-like when the school calls and freaks me out by NOT leaving a message because it’s just not that big of a deal.

There are times I wonder if they’ve ever picked up Isaac’s IEP report and really gone through it or just wanded  bar codes for goals based on some stupid basic screening that he didn’t feel like doing at the time.

But then again, none of the private schools I visited felt just right either. One felt too one sided-one behavioral approach fits all-another was just all sorts of wrong. It was so wrong it made Isaac shut down for 2 days. He spent 100% of his OT session in a barrel. He was that upset.

I knew when I selected his preschool that it was just right. It was the perfect fit for him. Now, I’m not so sure if I’ll ever find that perfect fit for him again.  Where do you put a smart, funny, goofball of a kid who needs sensory supports to function through his day, but can’t stand to be away from his friends?

There are so many questions and not enough answers.

I’ve got lots of people telling me to wait it out and things will get easier-this pair of shoes I’ve got on right now will do some stretching and break in. I hate to say it, but I don’t know if that’s what will happen or not. I’ve got the teacher telling me that he’ll settle in, but it will take time. I’ve got my child pulling shenanagins on the staff-when do I tell them that this is garbage and when do I let them figure it out on their own-if they will figure it out without me having to tell them. Then I’ve got me and my knowledge of what is correct procedure and compliance and what is not.

Welcome to Holland. Seriously. Welcome to Holland.  I’ve found some of the nice things about the place, but the wooden shoes suck.

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Entry filed under: Kindergarten!, parenting hell.

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