Midnight launches and the Stuck on Stupids of the world

This week has been insanely busy. I got roped into working the midnight launch of the latest and greatest war video game, Call of Duty-Modern Warfare 2. Yeah. I know, I know. I always say that I’m never going to do it again. I said it after Madden, and now I’m saying it again. Will I get roped into another one? Most likely…but it won’t be for an extra special long time after this one.

I worked the morning-9-3 and then went back to the store at 8:20-ish to get set up for the sneak preview of the game. Now the issue with this is that the sneak preview had to be done in an hour, and on top of that, we had to ID everyone to play the game, since this is an M rated game. Oy.  That set off a huge wave of stuck on stupids in themselves.

 

First off, if you KNOW you’re 18, and you KNOW you’re going to get ID’d for the game, BRING YOUR ID. Don’t try and use a library card from your high school and tell me what grade you’re in and that you failed twice so you’re technically old enough to prove that I can sell you the game.  Then, don’t argue with me when I tell you (and my manager tells you) that you cannot use your BFF’s ID to get the game. Nope, sorry. No dice. You WILL leave without your copy of the game. I won’t risk my job over you. Sorry. Not happening.

 

Secondly, if you know there’s a midnight launch, don’t call before hand  and ask me to release the game early to you. Same thing as above- as much as I kvetch about my geek job, I do enjoy it. I won’t break a street date for you. Sorry. Activision will fine us 5,000 per copy that breaks street date and some other nasty things will happen. Don’t argue with me. It won’t get you anywhere. Sorry.

After the midnight launch, there were 4 of us, including me, who were there until 2 am and then asked to open the store the next morning…a full 2 hours early. ICK! So, we did so, and the 4 of us never, ever moved off of the registers all day. With that, came the full force stuck on stupids. They came in a few varieties…

Variety  1-the Stuck on Stupid who doesn’t listen…

me “thank you for calling game geeks, where we have call of duty modern warfare 2 in stock. This is Laura, how can I help you?”

Stuck on Stupid: “Do you have the new call of Duty in stock?”

See-stuck on stupid.

Variety 2-The unintentionally stuck on stupid.

stuck on stupid-” Hi. I need that new game that just came out.”

me: “Call of duty? Sure. What system?”

Stuck on Stupid pulls out a list and says “I was given this list and orders to pick it up…”

me: “Ok…”

I look at the list and find out that the system in question is a Wii. This game was not made for Wii. I gently explain that this game is only for PS3 and Xbox360. This is where a simple mistake equals stuck on stupid…

The Stuck on stupid begins to ARGUE WITH ME, saying that their grandchild or whoever says that this game is for Wii and it MUST BE.

Oy. No. it does not come for Wii. Argh.

 

Variety 3-I ordered the wrong platform, and I want you to jack up your inventory to make my darling 12 year old happy stuck on stupid.

So, I pick up the phone and this really snotty woman says:

“Is there one manager over all of the stores or is your store different.”

huh? What?

So, I get her to explain herself.

She launches into this huge tirade about how she went to pick up the Prestige edition of the game (with night vision goggles) at another location and she recieved the wrong game platform copy. She was completely outraged by the fact that the manager wouldn’t break into another box and swap the xbox game for a ps3 game, and was demanding to speak to MY manager about it.
ummm..Ok…

I explained to her that we could totally not swap games in the boxes as that represented an inventory control issue, and would deprive a customer of their rightly reserved xbox copy of the prestige edition. I went so far as to even look in our computer to see if we could do anything for her at our store, under fearless (if not tired) leader’s orders. We didn’t have any extras…so I referred her to the district manager. She then kept going on and on and on about how upset her son was going to be when he got home from 7th grade…and didn’t have his game to play nor his night vision goggles.

 

Umm…really? Maybe three things should be happening-

1. Your 12 year old shouldn’t be entitled to a 150.00 copy of a game.

2. Your 12 year old shouldn’t be playing a gory, you can play as a terrorist game instead of doing his homework and sleeping.

3. Your 12 year old should learn that dissappointment is a part of life and get used to it. Things happen that are beyond your control and you have to suck up and deal.

 

And the final variety of stuck on stupid-The stuck on stupid that wants to save a few bucks…reality be damned.

Guy comes into the store and says the following:

“I was told to get this Modern Warfare 2 game, and I know it’s the newest one out, but do you have any used copies?”

It was all I could do NOT to laugh at him. We tried as gently as we could to explain that this game dropped at midnight. No, there would be no used copies for at least 2-3 weeks.

 

then he says this:
“are you sure? Would any of your other stores have it used?”

 

Oh, my lord.

Please. Someone save me from the stuck on stupids!

I just have to laugh at these freaks…

So, the Outlaws remembered my birthday this year…but it wasn’t as profitable as last year. I was hoping for some cash-trumps-sincerity after their latest set of tirades and fiascos (attempting to kick me out of the house we’re living in for no other reason than Doug won’t tell them where I work. Like they REALLY need to know that? Really? AND then hanging up on him when he said “well, if she goes, I go.” Morons.), but that didn’t happen. 

 

Instead, I the most non-religious person that I know (despite the fact that I work at a Catholic school…) got a “May God bless you on your birthday” card with a $2.00 bill in it and some of the usual insincere crap that Vapid spews. 

 

Now, the sad part in all of this is that she thinks she knows us SOOO well. She thinks she knows me in the most intimate of mother-daughter relationships. Prime example here- She thinks she knows my favorite foods-yet doesn’t know that cola gives me hives and keeps trying to foist it on me. that’s a basic set of knowledge when you’re dealing with me. Sodas in my world are CLEAR. She pretends to know what I like to wear. Anyone who has seen me dress knows I prefer classic lines and styles over trendy. I don’t go shopping for clothing much. She’s purchased me the wrong size trendy (with nasty patterns and colors) clothes…try 4 sizes too big. Her line? “I tried them on, and they fit me, so I figured they’d fit you too.” Sooo…mother daughter bond? Yeah, right. whatever. My own darling Moomie doesn’t dare pick out clothes for me without me around! See how delusional this woman is? 

 

  I’m pretty good at keeping my distance when it counts, and with these two, that’s the name of my game-or I’ll do/say something that I regret. So, in my world, they get no information. So gee…How do you think I’ll really love a religious card? 

 

And what’s with the 2.00 bill? that’s just an insult in my world. WTF? It would have been better if they never sent anything!

 

I just have to laugh. They’re so freakin’ delusional that they don’t realize that I don’t care about any of this. Just stay far away from me and I’m all good. Sending me nothing is better than doing what they pulled. 

 

So, maybe next year, they’ll forget my birthday altogether instead of insulting me. That would just make me one happy Laura.

 

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I think I’m going to go have Isaac recycle the card. he’s on this big “save the Earth” kick lately. I can tell him all about recycling paper!

And I thought I’d seen the be all and end all of stupidness

Just when I thought that working at the ‘bux and teaching had shown me all of the stupidness that life had to offer, I find something else that tops the list. 
So, here’s what happened. 

 

Last night, darling child of mine announced that he wanted a birthday party. I had not planned on this. It was going to be a similar thing to last year, where we take a friend and do something special. Then, a few other factors came into play, and a full out party became (believe it or not) the most practical thing to do. 

So, I go and order a cake. I hem and haw and hem and haw. I settle on Speed Racer.  Cool beans. This cake has the Mach 6 and Racer X  on it in a race scene. COOL. 

So, since Doug wasn’t with me when I made this choice (I was coming home from Faith Formation day. The store was on my way home…) I pulled up the design to show him on the computer.

The place that was selling the decorator kit had the following disclaimer on it:
“Icing and cake not included.”

 

Yes, you read that right. Icing and cake not included.

 

Yeah. Really?

 

This is just a seriously sad state of affairs when this has to be said outright. Really sad.

Do I have a sign on my head that says “stupid stuff come to me! ?”

So, my life as a freak magnet continues…

Yesterday, I went to visit Doug, and made an obligatory stop at the Starbucks across the street from the hospital. I wandered in and ordered my usual…a black and white (1/2 regular mocha, 1/2 white mocha) and proceded to have this conversation with the barista, who was NOT a newbie…and really should know these things…

me: I’d like a grande black and white mocha with whip please.

Barista: What is that?

me: a regular mocha with 1/2 of the pumps replaced with white mocha.

Barista: So, it’s a Marble Macchiato

Me: No. It’s not.

Barista: So, wait, what’s in this again?

Me: 1/2 regular mocha, 1/2 white mocha.

Barista: It’s a Marble…

me: (interrupting so we don’t have to go through this whole thing a 3rd time…) No, it’s not a marble macchiato. That’s a completely different drink. When I get this, I usually get charged for a mocha, and the barista just splits the pumps.

Barista: Well, I’ll have to charge you for an extra shot.

Me: No, you don’t. It’s the same number of shots, just split up into both mochas…

Barista (who is FINALLY charging me for just a regular mocha…) Ok…I guess….

So, the barista goes over to explain it to the other barista, who knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about…and the first barista says this:
“Well, it hasn’t been on the menu in quite some time, so I’m just not familiar with it.”

 

Yeah. Right…

 

How come in every Starbucks I go to, everyone knows about this drink unless they’re a newbie? This is a STANDARD. Even if I have to explain it, I get NO arguement. ARGH…

 

So, the day keeps going on…

 

so, for Isaac’s birthday, Doug and I decided that we’re going to get the Monkey a scooter. Just your basic starter scooter so thta he can wear his Diego helmet and zip around the neighborhood, supervised.

So, I’ve been on the hunt in Target, Wal Mart, Kmart and online. Since Doug is in the hospital, and I have to drag the boy everywhere I go, it’s just easier to go and order the sucker online.

So, I dive onto multiple websites and then end up on amazon. So, here is my list of stupid stuff that goes along with this…

1. Why is a BLUE scooter more than a PINK scooter? What? I’m being penalized again for having a BOY, who doesn’t want princesses and pinky-pink things? Cripes! I don’t want pinky-pink things! Literally, in most stores and on most of the websites, the blue scooter is anywhere from 5-7.00 more.
2. I was looking at a Diego scooter to match Monkey’s helmet. Why in the name of all things holy would you make a scooter with a 100 lb limit and then have it BREAK under the weight of a 30 lb child? STUPID PEOPLE!!! Every…last…..review…said the same thing-“my child is (insert weight WAAAAAAAAAYYY under weight limit) lbs and the scooter broke on the 2nd day.” Yeah, you’d think the manufacturer would learn…
3. As I’m reading reviews on amazon for the scooter that I eventually ended up ordering for Isaac (NO SHIPPING…NO TAX! ROCK ON!!), I come across this low-starred review. Ok..Let’s see what it says…

Ready? Here’s the exact review…

My son loved the blue version of this toy. He was never really steady on the regular razors, so this one game him the confidence to even try it. Unfortunatly, while on a long family walk, he got tired of riding his razor, so Dad tried to ride it home. The plastic frame got bent, and it was never usable again. Just keep in mind, that when plastic parts break, it’s over. Wish there was a metal version of this toy. 🙂

Ummmm….The scooter (because it’s built for PRESCHOOLERS)  has a 45 lb weight limit. And this person is complaining that it broke because her obviously over 45 lb husband rode it? Let’s all pull the stupid chain together!!! STUUUUUUUUUUPPPPIIIIDDDD!!

But this scooter should be arriving in time for the Monkey’s birthday. Should be a blast…and as for the other complaints about this scooter…that can be solved with a fast trip to Dick’s sporting goods for a new set of wheels…with some bearings. Teaching little skater punks for a year really paid off in knowing how to remedy that problem!

Fun NYS DMV Style

Today, I sold my soul got my butt in gear and all of the paperwork to officially take away any hope of going back to the west coast get my NYS driver’s license back. I decided to go when the DMV in a strip mall, which is a lot less crowded than the BIG honkin DMV in the city, opened this morning at 8 am. I took a small detour to heed the call of the Big Green Sign of a Seattle Based Coffee Company (THANK YOU, MARYANNE!!!) that has set up shop across the street in the OTHER plaza.

Well, I got to DMV at about 8:15, and there was one person at the check in desk ahead of me. Like me, she had all of her paperwork ducks in a row. She presented her stuff (registering 3 cars…paperwork was all neatly grouped by car…and paperclipped together), and at the 3rd one, the clerk looks up and has the following conversation with the woman:

Clerk: you don’t have proof of insurance or title for this vehicle.

Woman: Yes, I do. It’s attached.

Clerk: No, it’s not here.

Woman: It’s right there. Both parts.

Clerk: Oh, I didn’t look down that far.

Hearing this, I cringed, knowing I was next.

I get up to the counter, and present all of my paperwork ducks in a row. For the record, NYS requires a lot of identity verification. They do it by a “point” system. Every acceptable  proof has a point value to it. You also must provide proof of age. That doesn’t count toward your point total.  So, I made sure I had all 6 points accounted for…and the breakdown was like this:

• birth certificate (required, but 0 points.)
• CA Driver’s license (2 points)
• Social Security Card (required…and 2 points)
• Health insurance card (1 point)
• W2 that has my SSN on it. (1 point)

Total: 6 points.

So, I hand the clerk everything, and pray that she doesn’t do an “idiot patrol” like she did with the last woman…

Well, praying was in vain.

She went through everything, and then didn’t even BOTHER to open the W2, before having the following conversation with me:

Clerk: I can’t take this. It’s not on the list.

me: It’s a W2. It’s on the list, worth one point.

Clerk: Are you sure?

me: Open it up. it’s folded.

Clerk: Oh, it is. Ok. I just didn’t open it far enough to see what it was.

Me: (left speechless… Thank GOD for the coffee I had in me!)

So, I sign the card for signature, get my picture taken and then get my number to go and see the person who can actually enter all of my information in the computer. The woman ahead of me got called and she was B100. My number? D300. Different things get different codes.

So, I sit and wait. As she’s leaving, they go to page my number, and the doofuses that were behind me in line attempt to jump me. They had to go scurrying back to their seat when the clerk pointed out that they were B101 and not D300, and that they were in fact, paging me.

I get to the clerk who can actually do things, and he asks me for all of my points of ID. Well, thinking I was done with them, I had put them all away. I had to present everything, as well as surrender my CADL. That was hard. Surrendering my CADL was brutal. I feel like a big part of my life went away…but I digress. So, I break out all of my ID, get wished a belated happy birthday by the clerk…and the always question “what are you doing here??” That question does get old…

So, he presents me after some furious typing with my temporary license. Ok. Fine. He was smart. I can deal with this. It’ll take 7-10 days to get my photo doccument, so until then, this is what I have. NO BIGGIE… Plus, BONUS! I was out of there in 30 minutes! Now that’s an achievement!!

or so I thought.

The fun with the remnants of my DMV visit continued.

So, I got this cold, and frankly, I can’t function stuffed up, because my eyes hurt, and I get all crabby and fiesty. So, on my way over to JoAnn fabrics, I stop at CVS for some generic advil cold and sinus.

So, I go to the pharmacy counter and ask for the cold meds, and they tell me that they’re up front. I thank them, grab a bottle of ginger ale and head on up to the front of the store to ask for a pack. Well, I ask for a pack, and they ask (federal regs at work here!) for my driver’s license. Fine, no problem. I present the temporary.

Let the debacle ensue!!!

here’s how it all went down…

Cashier looks at NYS temporary. Unfolds it, turns it over, looks at me, and then says:
Don’t you have a photo one?

me: No, I had to surrender my California one to get this. This is what they gave me at DMV and told me to use until my photo ID comes.

Cashier: I need to get manager approval for this. I don’t know if this is a real NYS DL.

Me: (with head splitting and eyes bulging out of my head from the pressure) Oh, come on! This is a state issued doccument!! What else can I give you? I’m over 21, buying one box of cold meds, because I need to be able to function! (I am on the verge of breaking into tears…)

Cashier (suddenly taking pity on a poor, cold-ridden, CA missing person…): Well, let’s see if this will scan. (she scans it and it takes! What a concept!!) That will be 6.37 please. (I had a bottle of ginger ale too…)

I pony up the money, get to my car, and take two pills.

For cripe’s sake. The perils of an interm license.

Wonder what other fun this will cause me for the next week and a half!

I thought librarians were supposed to be educated…

So, I’ve discovered the wonders of the local library, which I discovered is a) not too far from my house and b)on a different system than the Smallany libraries…and therefore I needed to get a new card.

Well, I went in to look for some knitting books, and didn’t find them on the shelves, so I ventured over to the reference librarian to see what I could do about getting them on reserve.

Here’s the conversation….

me: Hi. I’m looking for a knitting book. I’m not sure who wrote it, but it’s called Wrap Style.

Librarian: Ok. I’ll take a look and see if we carry that.

librarian putters on her computer, clicking through various options…

Librarian: Umm..that’s not a book that exists. I can’t even find it on Amazon.

me: What? I just saw it at the yarn shop the other day. One of the employees was knitting a project out of it.

Librarian looking SUPER confused here… : Wait. Are you spelling that as one word or two?

me: two. W-R-A-P S-T-Y-L-E.

Librarian Looking up in utter shock: Wait. You’re not spelling it  R-A-P, like the music?

me: flabbergasted at the stupidity, because I said it was a KNITTNG BOOK: No, W-R-A-P like wrapping a present.

Librarian: Oh, wow. I thought you meant the music.

Me: That’s why I said it was a knitting book

I’m too flabbergasted by this whole conversation to be anything but nice…and just genuinely shocked…

Librarian: Oh, wow. Ok…here it is! We carry it, but it’s not in at the moment, would you like to reserve it?

Me: Most definately.

But do you all beleive this conversation? 

I thought librarians were supposed to be SMART….

oh, save me.

From the “It seemed like a good idea at the time” files

I joined another Death By knitting event-Hat Attack.

I knit hats quickly, so I figured not a big deal, right?

The pattern for Hat attack is kicking my rear. The hat has been ripped oh, 5x…and is now in time out.

Well, I thought I’d actually be alive this time for longer than one round. I swear…when will I learn?

I’m going to cast on some fingerless mitts. I’ll go back to the hat later. I’m stubborn that way. Plus, the pattern? It’s binary code cables. How can geeks go wrong?

When good gingerbread goes bad, or how to ignore the directions on a pack of cookie mix

So this evening, I decided that it would be a wise idea to engage in cookie baking with Isaac. Because my child has a very, very short attention span, I purchased a pack of gingerbread cookie mix, you know, the kind that you add the egg, water and butter to.

here. Here’s the pic of hte front of the package.

So, I began to read the directions. They seem pretty easy…

Notice what I have to add…1 stick butter, 1 egg and 1 tbs of water.

Let’s discuss what I did add.

1 stick butter, 1 egg, 1 CUP water.

Yeah, you read that right. One CUP water.

Needless to say, it wasn’t dough…it was this:

When I realized what I had done, Doug heard a resounding “OH CRAP!” from the kitchen. Then, he heard me hemming and hawing over the fact that I didn’t want to throw out this batter like stuff, and what the heck could I do with it?

Doug laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

 Well, after thinking about it, eating a babybel light cheese, and throwing out all ideas of adding lots of flour and things, I came to the conclusion that it would be just as good as a bread-type product.

So, I broke out my loaf pan, my butter and flour and went to town…

and here’s my gingerbread loaf. complete with sugar sprinkling on top.

But do you believe it? The stupid, stupid person was ME today! Bah!

well, Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope your baking went better than mine! I’ll see you soon with the promised large update…and what happens tomorrow morning.

Stupid, stupid people…the next incarnation

So, because of Doug’s multiple medical issues (and that’s being polite), we’ve had to use Edgepark for supply purchase. Normally, this is a seriously pleasant experience, if not downright completely efficient. Today, however, I have run into the latest dose of….

STUPID, STUPID PEOPLE!!!

We ordered a particular supply on Friday, because we had had issues with said other form of supply (that was leading to my asscrack of dawn medical debacles…and no sleep…this new supply allows me to sleep because it prevents medical debacles at the asscrack of dawn!). We also ordered a back up of another less urgent supply, but none the less needed. We have plenty right now, but we were going through them like water with the original medical debacle.

 So, I go through the efficiency, and explain our urgency (we had 2 of the big gun at the time…and that’s not so good)and get told by said agent that they would ship that day.

Ok. fine.

No UPS on Saturday…so, no biggie. We’re gunning for Monday. We have payment in hand for Mr. UPS, and we’re hanging in so that we can do the exchange and signature.

Monday-No Mr. UPS! What the heck!!!

Tuesday (today) Mr. UPS! But alas, not the package we were expecting him to bring…Mr. UPS brought my Sonicare flex care with UV disinfector from Bzzagent! (more on that later! this thing is awesome!) BUT, we didnt’ figure that out until he handed me the pack and I saw MY name on it,a nd NOT Doug’s..

So, I get on the phone with edgepark. I’m on hold for what’s like FOREVER…and I get an agent. I explain the situation, and she informs me that UPS has us on the delivery schedule for TOMORROW…and she can’t tell me what time…

SO, after back and forthing with her and letting her know that we would be out most of the morning due to a doc’s appointment with the infectious diseases doc…she suggested we leave the payment taped to the door. Yeah. Really smart idea…leaving a cashier’s check taped to the door… (everyone pull the stupid chain right now…STU-PID!) By t his point, I have had it with this agent and decide to get a smidge snippy as she’s been condescending the entire time, and she does the final thing to piss me off…tell me to call UPS.

I finally demand a supervisor, because I’m clearly getting nowhere with this agent. She starts backtracking and being nice and I told her “the only words that should escape your lips right now are ‘yes ma’m’ and get your supervisor. I dont’ want to hear another word out of your lips.”

So, she puts me on hold and the supervisor comes on. I explain the situation…explain that I was told it would be shipped Friday,a nd here we are on Tuesday, no product and we’re down to 1 of the big guns (we had to break into them for a routine change). I’m angry about being lied to and I’m tired of the snippy nature of the last associate…and what is she going to do to remedy this and make me un irritated?

Then, I found out what had really gone down that made me even MORE angry at the stupidity.

Turns out that they couldn’t send the backup supply..because the insurance said we were not eligible for it. Ok. fine. whatever. They CLAIMED they called us…LIES! Lies I tell you! We got not so much as a message from edgepark. So, nothing had been shipped! It was STILL sitting there…and was going to be shipped today, pending a phone call. Yeah. right. We had no reason to call edgepark until stuff didn’t show up today!!!

So, after the supervisor conceding defeat in the stupid people war and throwing her hands up and admitting this was ALLLLLLL their fault…and that they dropped the ball BIG TIME, we’re getting it overnighted, no signature required, envelope in the box to send our payment in (which I have to change anyhoo because of the one item that’s no longer there).

She also said she’d speak to the stupid, stupid person and set her straight about stupid, stupid responses.

She also said she wouldn’t charge me for the next day air stuff. Damn straight she won’t!

The sad thing is in this game is that I was much nicer to them than I should have been, because they are stupid, stupid people.

Her house is SO going to get egged!

(I’m still too purturbed (sp?) to even talk about what has gone on in my living room, and started project “take back the loft” so, I offer you this tale of grouches on Halloween… Hopefully, by tomorrow, I will have enough composure to explain the way the last few days have been here at Chez East Boondock.)

So, it’s Halloween, and Isaac is gung ho for trick or treating. Since the county I live in (as well as all of the surrounding counties) has an 8 pm curfew, we headed out of the house at 4:45. We walked to the end of the street, hitting houses along the way, and we even went to the house of the supermarket head hancho that has the most atrocious lawn art. I swear, I need to take photos of this, but I digress. Well, we turn the corner from said head hancho’s house (btw- for those interested, the head hanchos gave out PB cups. And Isaac got a lot.) and run into a group of young trick or treaters like Isaac (with parents) and we all converge on one house. It is 5 pm. The oldest of the group (Kindergartener) leads the charge of preschoolers up to the front door. Goes in, rings the doorbell, and they all wait. The girl handing out the candy comes from a SIDE entrance! We all apologize for going to the wrong door, and the kids get their candy. Meanwhile, Grouchy Middle Aged Lady (GMAL) comes flying out the front door, yelling at us. Yes, Yelling at us. GMAL told us that it was too early to be trick or treating and that 5 pm was just too early, and where did we get off bringing the kids out this early, and letting them go into a porch full of wet paint.

Wet paint? What?

So, finally after we picked up our jaws off of the slate walkway, one of the other moms says, in a slightly snippy tone that GMAL deserved that these were preschoolers. This is when they come out. There is a curfew, and what? were we supposed to bring them out at 9 pm? And as for the wet paint, there was no sign. How are we supposed to keep them away when we don’t know about it ourselves?

GMAL didn’t respond. She just harumphed off and blocked the front door as the kids all made with the niceties with (we think) the daughter.

You know, her house is going to get egged or TP’d if she pulls that with anyone over the age of 8. If it does, I won’t feel bad at all. GMAL deserves it.