100 days of school = 100 ___________ in a ziploc.

I swear-I think the homework that Isaac has is meant to be sweet revenge for all of the insane things I’ve assigned over the years in the name of education.

This year, by district rules, Kindergarten kids are supposed to have 15 minutes of homework a week. Our wonderful Kindergarten teacher (bless her-she does AM and PM kindergarten…) decided that their weekly sharing would be their homework. This is due to the fact that it works on public speaking, ect.

My darling child has no problem with this. We’re a far cry from 3 years ago when he said one word and would just melt down…now, we can’t get him to shut up…must be the ADHD. Yeah, that’s it…the ADHD. But, I digress…

So, we’ve been plodding along with the LAME sharing topics (my name is special because, I can, tell a joke -see? LAME!!) and I’ve been begging for a more homework like experience for Isaac. He needs to have more than his sharing, which, like Mami-he does on the fly-he gets his sharing and nails it down as he runs out the door for the bus.

Maybe he got my talent for Extemporaneous speaking-heck…it’ll serve him well if our district STILL has a speech and debate team…I did go to a tourney there once…I think I even placed…but again, I digress.

This week’s sharing has to do with the 100th day of school. I have no clue why this is such a big thing. I just don’t get it-classes are now celebrating being in school 100 days. Umm…I was always on the countdown…80 more to go! (A school year in New York is 180 days…)
But they celebrate it and do lots of things with the number 100.

We got a note home from our darling Kindergarten teacher that for sharing this week, each student had to come in with 100 items that fit in a gallon ziploc bag. Yeah. a gallon ziploc bag. I was less than thrilled.

So, I got to thinking…what can fit in a bag….what can I get 100 of on the cheap or even free?

Some good friends of mine were coming up with AWESOME ideas-100 grains of rice, 100 pasta noodles, 100 q tips…

But hrm…we have to be different. Seriously. It’s almost a preoccupation of mine.

Last night, I decided to hit the craft store on the hunt for the 100 items. I was thinking buttons, pom poms, googly eyes, pipe cleaners…anything that was cheap and different.

I stopped in at the ‘bux I used to sling at to clear my head and see if some friends were working, and I encountered MichyMoo and Big W! NICE!

So, they asked me what was new, and I began to lament this insane 100 day project. MichyMoo who has two kids who have been through this before, laughed and knew exactly what I was talking about.

I looked at Big W on the bar and said “So, W, got 100 coffee beans?”

Now, mind you…this was sarcastic and offhanded. I did not expect him to go into the bin of coffee beans that were going to be chucked and fill a pastry bag with them!

I left with my latte, and Isaac’s 100 day project covered! WOOHOO!

I came home and met up with the boys, and counted the coffee beans as required with the shrimp. (we had to put them into bundles of 10 and count the 10 bundles by 10!) and into the ziploc they went.

I swear, this is Karmic revenge for all of the random projects that I’ve given over the years.

but we have our 100 coffee beans in the ziploc ready to go!

gotta love the awesomeness of the green apron!

Monday Mornings-Post last shift

I’ve been asked by a few people if I’m ok with not working at the ‘bux anymore. Frankly, I can’t be more ok with it after what happened this weekend. I’m now glad to have the weekends to myself again and not doing a straight 6 day week. I don’t have to deal with post menapausal women on power trips and then the people who have been there so long that they just don’t want to anymore. I’m seriously glad I’m done. I won’t have to endure the yahoos of the world aruging with me about a .30 syrup addition and their cards not working because they forgot to reload them.

It’s been a wild ride, and would I ever go back? Sure. Fast paced, hectic, hilarious-I’d totally go back. Would I go back to my old store? Probably not unless a few people were gone. There are enough stores in the area that I can find one that I would fit in with.

It’s not the end of the world. Frankly, the more I think about it, the less of the end of the world it is. I was really sick of black and khaki. Really.

Green Apron Tales-I’ll do what I please. So there.

We’re down to 1 shift left. Frankly, because of the way this all went down, I’m just over it. Seriously over it. 

So, since I’m that over it, I’m in “I’ll do what I please” mode. I’ll say what I want, not care and go from  there. It works for other people around the ‘bux and they seem to all get stellar performance reviews. 

It floors me that some of the things are ok. For example, I worked a 4 hour shift yesterday, and I saw FloridaShift (who was in micromanage mode) on the floor for all of one hour. She spent the rest of the time in the back doing the pastry order and taking her sweet time on the banking. She even had the NERVE to tell me not to tell people I got fired. 

 

Umm. Really? 

 

yeah. I’ll do what I please. My information, My life, my tale to tell customers if they ask. Plus, to make matters worse with that statement, she had the nerve to say she didn’t know what happened to me, and it was her role as a supervisor to make sure confidential information didn’t get out.

 

Umm..yeah. Whatever. She needs a grip. 

 

So, in the vein of “I’ll do what I please,”  I told her exactly how I felt by being treated like one of her kids. NO THANK YOU. 

 

and technically, I didn’t get fired.  I pulled my own trigger, because Big W couldn’t. So there. Plus, when my child asks me when I have a  day off, you know it’s time to cut back. So there again. 

 

But, all is still insane at ‘bux. Vetchick came up with one of the best cup codes EVER.

A guy came in, orders a Carmel Apple Spice. Technically, the cup code for that is CAS. 

Vetchick wrote CRAP-CR=carmel, AP=apple. 

So, guy’s drink was labeled CRAP. 

 

Absolutely best.code.ever.

 

So, one more shift to go, and it’s all I’ll do what I please. Should be hilarious, as Vetchick says!

Green Apron Tales-A victim of the economy

So, as everyone knows, the economy is in the toilet, thanks to our last president. So, I was wondering when it was going to hit me here in East Nowhere.

 

Well, it finally has.

 

With my availability, I meet the requirements for employment with the ‘Bux, but Big W was told by our regional manager that one more position needed to be cut. They cut my running and screaming partner…and that guy. MP transferred to Hawaii, the shift who trained me transferred to CT, and that left just me with the low availability and the possiblity of being cut.

 

So, after hemming and hawing this week, I came to the conclusion that Big W couldn’t pull the trigger. He’s totally not comfortable with letting people go, especially if their performance reviews are good and they are decent employees. Yeah, that’s the category I fall into.

So, I pulled the trigger for him. I figured that I’d save him the awkward moment of letting me go, and just do it for him.

 

So, we’ll see what happens from here. I’m totally re-hirable, and I’ve got one more week of slinging coffee after this one.

But what I can say the bright spot in all of this is-I can finally have a few days off and stop working 6-7 day weeks. AND I won’t have to deal with the warming oven.

 

There is another adventure in the wings, but I’m not going to say anything about that until everything is locked, loaded and ready to go.

green apron tales-Answer me this question

Why did a parent laugh as his son pretended to use an umbrella handle to shoot me, saying “oh, what are you doing, shooting the Starbucks lady?”

 

yeah. If anyone can answer that, there will be a prize.

Green Apron Tales-iPods and parental responsiblities

This has been a week at the ‘bux. It was back to the normal grind of the week, teaching a few days and then slinging coffee the rest. It was all sorts of drama this week…

we had the usual rash of freaky customers, but none to really write home about. 

So, let’s start with Wednesday. 

Isaac hadn’t been feeling hot at all. He was kind of whiney, but we figured he just had a cold. So, we sent him to school. I went into bux. It was quite interesting. We had gotten super silly, and it being a Wednesday, it shouldn’t have been too bad.

Then, the calls came in. First, Drama Queen called out. That put us a person down, and that wasn’t fun. But, we dealt with it. Then, the second call came in. It was one of Isaac’s teachers, telling me that he had a 101.5 fever, and what did they want us to do with him?

 

ummm…Yeah..I’ll come and get him. 

 

So, I look over at Big W, and say “Isaac’s got a fever. How fast can I get out of here?”

Now, please realize that Big W has no kids. He has no clue what day care rules are (I enlighten him on at least a weekly basis…like when he asks me to stay until 6:30-day care closes at 6, and there’s at the least, a $1.00/minute late fee. He about fainted.) So his response to my request, sorry, demand, was to be expected.
“Seriously?”

 

Yes, seriously. 

I had to explain (quickly) that schools do not allow for kids with fevers of (usually) 100 to stay. they have to go home and then they can’t come back until they are fever free for 24 hours.

He kept looking at me in utter disbelief.

No, I wasn’t kidding either.

 

So, he finally got the message and I got my little sickie at school. Verdict on that one? Sinus infection and bronchitis. Icky.

Then, there was Thursday.

We’ve got a particular shift that is well, quite the person. She is so hot and cold, and does things that are just really out of line, especially in front of baristas. She won’t do it in front of any of the other shift supervisors or Big W. She pretty much sits there and texts her friends, and kicks it with customers, even when there’s about 2 tons of work to do. Every Saturday, the last hour of my shift is spent cleaning, because she doesn’t even want to lift a finger to do it. And don’t you dare question her, or you get all of the crap work or get sent home, just because.

So, Thursday, sh e did something that took the cake. She went on bar, and all of a sudden, I noticed she had ear buds in her ears. She had her ipod on. She was ignoring customers, making drinks with her ipod on. I was beyond shocked at mortified. She’s been with the company a while, and she hates it, and she wants to leave, but doesn’t know what else to do.

She spent the entire shift singing, telling us all that she needed to learn how to dance by Saturday so she could have a hot date and switching songs on her ipod.

Thank goodness she wasn’ t the shift that day. Not cool.

Green Apron Tales-Stuck on Stupid

Things have been pretty tame at the ‘bux lately…and that makes for no Green Apron Tales of substance. We’ve had your basic water filter problems, annoying people demanding breakfast sandwiches (which are coming in April…oh, bloody hell…but that’s another thing..) and the usual dimwited minutia.

This was until the other day. We got a rash of people who just took the cake in more ways than one.

CentralShift coined the term “Stuck on Stupid,” and it seems to fit. Seriously. The rash of people through the drive thru have gotten increasingly more and more insane as the weeks have gone on. Here’s a smattering of what I’ve encountered.

Stuck on Stupid the first:

It was 7:30 am. Woman orders a kid’s hot chocolate and a bottle of water. Total cost: 3.45. She hands me a 50.

Now, at this point on a Saturday morning, I don’t have enough change to break that sucker. Seriously. So, I ask her if she has anything smaller. She says no. I ask her if she has a card or some other form of payment…

and she says:

“No. I have MONEY.”

Oh, really! That’s what that is? Seriously? She got all 10’s 5’s and 1’s back and then had the nerve to ask me for a 20. Umm…those are locked in a drop box…so, no. I don’t have any. She got all huffy and went away.

Stuck on stupid the second:

I’m in the back, pulling pastries…and then all of a sudden, I see Drama Queen jump about 5 feet when she hears a horn blast…

“I didn’t know where the speaker was, so, I just pulled up.”

this woman has been at our bux several million times. She KNOWS where the freakin speaker is, and she knows that her coffee and food will totall 3.45. Yet, this is what she said, after I told her the total 5 times…

“So, how much is all of this? Isn’t that a bit expensive?”

Stupid.

Stuck on Stupid the 3rd

Pulls up to the window: ” I want a mocha-non fat, extra hot with whip!”

DTR person (who is not me): What size

Person repeats her order like we’re stupid 10 times.

For cripe’s sake-just give us the SIZE..SERIOUSLY. SIZE!!!

See? 100% stuck on stupid.

Green Apron Tales-Crap I can’t make up.

Seriously. I can’t make the stuff that’s happened over the past 2 days up.

I was telling Mom all of this stuff, and she said: “People are pathetic.” Seriously. They are. So, hold on to your hats…this is the crap I can’t make up that happens at the ‘bux.

So, I’m on the DTR as always.

here goes round 1:

*ding*

me: Hi and welcome to ____________ ‘bux, What can I get you started today?

Freaky Tea lady (FTL) : I want a venti earl grey tea, wth 2 sweet and low, warm milk, and remove the teabag before you give it to me.

Here’s the thing-I would have TOTALLY understood this if there was a back up-people not wanting to have their tea be too strong…but realize, there was NO ONE in front of her, and the drive from the DTR speaker to the window is all of 30 seconds to a minute.

ASMElmo: (chiming in after a few seconds of attempting to figure out what this fool watned…) “We usually steep the tea for 3-4 minutes-do you want us to steep it for you at all?”

FTL: (getting super snippy and all sorts of yell-y) “LOOK. Put the teabags in. Put the steamed milk in. put the sweet n low in. Swish the teabags around a bit. TAKE THE TEABAGS OUT. Then, hand it to me.”

So, I made the stupid drink. ASMElmo handed it off to her, because I was on my way out the door. She gets all sorts of snippy with him, and says:
“Did you put the sweet n low in?”
ASMElmo asks me to confirm, because I made the drink…meanwhile, while he’s asking me, FTL is making nasty little comments that we can never get a drink right, we never put the sweet n low in, ect. So, ASMElmo does what we all wish we could do some days…

he looks at her and says:

“Did you need something else?”

She says no quickly and rolls up her window.

 

oh, and I did put the sweet n low in.

 

So, the other day, I’m back on the DTR, and we were out of the customer’s favorite pastries. She orders an oatmeal. I make it up, pack it up with the requested toppings and hand it to her…and then she asks the question that is just so stupid we all stopped in our tracks…and this is what made mom say that people are pathetic…

 

“Is the oatmeal hot?”

 

Yes, you read that right. She asked us if  the oatmeal was hot.

We all about stopped in our tracks…

FloridaShift, Mandapants and Training Buddy were all rolling eyes and making sarcastic comments after she was gone.

 

No, we keep the oatmeal in the freezer and then blend it into a slushie. Sure, you can have an oatmeal slushie.

 

Can I add this to my “stupid, stupid people ” list?

Maybe I’m just a smidge bitter…

It’s been back to the normal grind-teach 2.5 days, the bux 2-3 days. It was kinda nice having people ask me where I’ve been…and then going “Oh, wait! you went back to the OTHER place!” I had one even ask me if it was another ‘bux. No. No…I can only take the one I’m at. Seriously.

So, let’s get into Wednesday. I woke up to a nice little snow and freezing rain storm. I went and chipped off the  car and got into it to drive to the bux. I had to open, so the alarm went off at an obscene hour.

Well, since we had that nice storm going, all of the schools went down. Including the one I work at…as well as Isaac’s!

So, there I am, slinging coffee, while my students, the rest of my fellow teachers and even my son are lounging in their PJ’s, contemplating when th ey’re going to get out and shovel and break up ice. Yeah…great.

So, while I’m slinging coffee, one of my regulars comes in. Her line?

“So, how bitter are you that you don’t get the snow day?”

Yeah. I wasn’t thinking about that until she said it.

So, I guess I’m just a smidge bitter that I had to get up at 3:30 am, scrape the car, nearly kill myself going to work-nearly getting run over by a taxicab, and then having to open, and deal wtih the “specials” of the world on the DTR.

Well, at least I had the 2 hour delay on Monday. Good, but not as good as a snow day.

Green Apron Tales-Holy Schnikies! It’s COLD in here!!

I’ve kind of been on a self imposed hiatus from blogging-just to get through the holidays and keep my toungue in check…but today, the Green Apron tales are back-so, grab that cup of Apple infused chai (oh, so yummy!) and enjoy the show!

So, it was was New Year’s day, we had the store open later (thank you Big W for the extra 2 hours of sleep! My body needed it!), which meant instead of showing up at 5 am, we had to show up at 7:30. Fine. All good…but I knew that there would be people banging on the door at the buttcrack of dawn demanding that we open. Seriously people-can’t you brew a pot at home? But I digress.

So, I met CentralShift there and she was already in the door-she had thought she had to be there at 7! Oh, poor thing. She was freaking out until she went int eh door and saw teh schedule…and w hammo-7:30. I came flying in through the back door, because we had an order come in.

 

Just a quick fact…the thermometer on the large law firm’s clock that I pass every day said…4 degrees…when I went in.

 

So, the store was a bit chilly. We both figured it was from the door. We cranked the thermostat and tried to pull the chill off. And pray that it would get warm..and pray. and pray. and pray.

I even went and turned on the DTR heater.

But it was still cold.

 

at one point, CentralShift said “You know, it’s 42 degrees in here!”

yeah. you all read that right. 42 stinkin degrees.

So, EmDawg comes in at around 9:30. She starts to take her gloves off…and then thinks better of it. And we all begin again about how cold it is…and the customers join us.

It’s quite sad when your barista is doing the following things:

1) walking around with a venti for here cup filled with a hot beverage and not drinking. This is strictly for keeping the hands warm.

2) Walking around with the pitchers of leftover steamed milk and not cleaning htem right away…again-keeping the hands warm.

3) handing you drinks without sleeves, because the heat from the drinks feels so good on the hands and your barista is so cold that they don’t know how hot that drink really is.

It was cold. Seriously cold. Nose running, find a warm spot and stand there cold.

and of course, we were running down a person due to scheduling and were slammed so that no one could even stop, breathe and make a phone call.  So we stood there and froze.

What bothers me about all of this, is that at first, we blamed it all on the delivery. But I knew in the back of my head it wasn’t that. We really should have closed down the store, because I swear, it’s a labor violation to work in a store that cold.

Secondly, we were slammed with 3 people on. I just can’t get my head around not having coverage for people when there’s a half hour break needed. Poor CentralShift never got her break. EmDawg and I tried and tried and tried to get her to take one, but she never could. It’s just not right.

 

Oh-I’ve been asked to blog my rules for DTR.

That will come when I’m feeling a bit better about the things that have gone down there the past few weeks…