Christmas Presents and the 6 year old ADHD response

My darling sister can’t make it into town for Christmas. Her husband’s mom is flying in from London, so she’s stuck at home. She mailed her gifts to us so that they would arrive on time to open for Christmas.

Here’s the thing. Isaac got to the mail before we did. The package containing his gift, addressed to him, was sitting on our porch when he ran up the stairs after coming off of the bus.

He grabbed the bag and we immediately took the insides out of it…and put it under the tree. We have talked about not touching presents…but what can you do?

So, over two days, I was constantly being “Candace” from Phineas and Ferb. I was busting him over and over and over again.  He would jump a few feet and wander away.

I figured we weren’t safe, so I had asked my darling other half to take the  present from my darling sister and hide it upstairs for a few days as soon as we got up in the morning.

Note the key word here. In the morning. It was 10:30 pm and we were both tired and I had been dealing with yet another server crash at work.  I couldn’t think and that’s why I asked the other half.

I climbed the stairs to bed, delusionally confident that the present would survive the night.

5:30 am.

Isaac is in the loft by my bedroom crashing around.

I say “what are you doing?!”

He says “playing hockey.”

Now, that’s not an uncommon response in my house. He does play Mini-Mite hockey.  He does have a floor hockey set that my sister gave him last year.  He wants to be a goalie. But his hockey aspirations have been talked about here ad nauseam, so I won’t go back into those.

It was the next thing that killed me.

He came flying into my dark bedroom yelling the following:

“LOOK! AUNT M and UNCLE M SENT ME A RYAN MILLER JERSEY FOR CHRISTMAS!!!”

Now, picture this-the sun has yet to rise. Shrimper is in his glow in the dark footie spaceship pajamas. He has a Reebok Ryan Miller Jersey on over said pajamas. He is playing floor hockey.

I asked-

“you’re kidding, aren’t you? You opened that present?’

His response:

“Yep! But I didn’t open YOUR present from Aunt M.”

Yeah. I gave up at that point, because I had nothing. No response to that one.

Isaac trotted off happily to play more floor hockey with the wall before having to get ready for school.

Thanksgiving ponderings

Every year at this time, the blogosphere is littered with “what I’m thankful for” posts. Facebook is the same way. For me, It’s a simple thing-what am I thankful for THIS year…because there are things that I”m thankful for every day of the year-Family, friends…the fact that I have this space that people actually read…

But this year…I’m thankful for…

My Turkey Catcher. Isaac told me at his Thanksgiving feast that he was a “Turkey Catcher.” I figure that’s Isaac for Pilgrim. I’m also thankful for his friends in Kindergarten that love him, no matter how quirky he gets. It’s fun to see him grow, learn new things and come out with more Isaac-isms than I ever thought possible.

Isaac’s school. As much as some days I complain, kvetch and threaten to pull him to a different placement, I’m glad he’s where he is. They’re finally getting a handle on his personality and things are (albeit slowly) getting better. His consultant teacher works super hard with him and his resource teacher is top notch. Plus, they put up with me. That’s a huge thing to be thankful for.

My jobs. I do like them. Trust me. Where would I get my fix of hilarious answers and insane people than at both of these places? I love my students, even though they drive me to drink most times, and the people I work with at Game Geeks are great.

Sports! I’m so glad that Isaac has finally found a sport that suits him. Despite the fact he looks like a bobblehead in all of that gear…he loves it. He’s excited to go to hockey, and loved the time where he got to stand behind the bench for a Women’s college game.

Don’t get me wrong-I still have a bone to pick with the one goalie on our local minor league team who put the idea of being a goalie in his head…but I’m thankful he did in a lot of ways…or I wouldn’t be a hockey mom…and loving it.

The small things in life…
Yep. Those. The people who laugh at me, roll their eyes at me and marvel at my insane thoughts, that sometimes work out to be GENIUS! Maybe not very often..but it does happen. The friends who commiserate with my insurance struggles and fights, the one who said some days that she wishes she had half of my moxy when I call these places and fight them and the ones who reassure me that I’m NOT going insane on a daily basis. The cats-the one that isn’t very smart, but loves to drape herself over you for hours on end…the diva who still plays fetch. The frogs-that everyone but the people who live in this house are creeped out over…
The laughs, giggles and smiles that make it all worth it…

So, Happy Thanksgiving. Like Isaac’s class did yesterday-indulge in a Charlie Brown Feast-Popcorn, pretzels, toast and jellybeans-and remember what you’re thankful for!

A parent’s lament

Holiday time is normally a lot of fun…and I attempt to keep it that way in my house despite the Scrooge that lives with me and his anti-decorating ways.

But one huge headache looms every stinkin Christmas. That is the packaging the toys come in. It takes an act of congress to even think of getting them open. I think I used more impliments of destruction in opening the packages for the Star Wars Galactic Heroes than I have used EVER in opening a package.

Seriously. These things were not only encased in 3 layers of plastic, but they had these clear things holding them in, so when you THOUGHT you were done, you weren’t. You would try to pull out your Han Solo and it would spring back into the package.

Here come the impliments of destruction!

So, seriously companies-can you please try NOT to annoy parents on major holidays? Lighten the load of tags and things holding toys in packaging. I do not want to be messing around with a Phillip’s head trying to pull the Mach 5 out of its box while my child keeps asking if I’ve got it out yet. Argh!

Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree

I need to get this out in the open-Doug is a scrooge. Seriously. It takes me from the time Thanksgiving is over to almost JUST before Christmas to get him to drag the Holiday bin down with all of the decorations. It usually takes me threatening to go to the dollar store and re buy all sorts of decorations before he concedes defeat and allows me to decorate the house. This year, it took me going to the dollar store for something and picking up some new clings for the window-and Isaac’s window in his room. I came home wtih classic Mickey for the door (We have 6 window panes on the door) and Scooby Doo and new-school Mickey for Isaac. He looked at me and then conceded defeat in the all out decorating war.

So, this past weekend, we were both off on Sunday. I was thawed from the Polar Plunge and ready to decorate. Isaac had finally spazzed out enough that Doug was ready to drag the stuff down.

 

Ok, why don’t I drag this stuff out myself?

Simple. Doug’s got it buried in the crawlspace under a ton of his electronic “treasures” (Read: old record players and projectors) and I’m afraid of breaking them. I just don’t want to hear it. Seriously.

 

So, we put on the music-John Denver and the Muppets, a serious family tradition that I foisted on Doug, and went from there.

We decorated our tree with all sorts of ornaments…including our non-traditional topper-

 

And as I hung ornaments, I started to think about all of the stuff we hang on the tree and decorate our house with. So, let’s take a tour…

 This mouse was given to me by Sidekick in…no joke ..1992. We’ve been friends for longer than that. Wow. Shows our age…and our love for cute things..and her knowledge of my need for Latin themed items.

Let’s continue the tour, shall we?

 Mom made this for me. Lovingly crafted for my love of the Wizard of Oz. There’s a Tin Man, Scarecrow and a Cowardly Lion
Go Mom. Be crafty.

And note the tablecloth…Sidekick made that for us a while ago…it’s PEANUTS and has Franklin on it…and Pig Pen. Two of my favorite Peanuts characters!

Then, there are the ornaments we use as display pieces. This one is a favorite of ours…

 Who doesn’t love the flagpole scene. The only thing that would be better is if they had the pink bunny pajamas…but I digress.

So, then, there are the ornaments from my ‘rents tree. These are ones I’ve always loved…or made fun of.

Let’s just get the making fun of out of the way now.

First let me start with what Mom made me promise to say to allow me to take the photo:

“This is a beautiful ornament, lovingly handmade.”

There. I said it. Obligation over.

 

Really…My sister and I forever called this the Tacky Ornament, and would find a place to hide it. We would fight to see who could get it first and hide it somewhere on the tree.

I think I’d have problems if that ornament disappeared.

The next one is a favorite on my ‘rents tree…

This is the toy shop…the neatest ornament on the face of the planet. It’s one of those that you can see through both sides.

 

But this is what my tree and my ‘rents tree is all about. All sorts of fun.

oh, and you know what we do while we decorate the tree?

 

 

We sing all sorts of wrong Christmas songs…

We three kings of orient are…

smoking on a rubber cigar.
It was loaded, and exploded…

(bang)

We two kings of orient are

smoking on a rubber cigar.

it was loaded and exploded…

(bang)

I one king of orient am

smoking on a rubber shazam.

It was loaded and exploded…

(BANG)

Silent night…

Ooh! Turkey!

See that pinecone turkey? Yeah. That’s MY pinecone turkey! I made that when I was 4. This thing has become a tradition at my parents’ house. It’s the “alien turkey”, because the neck looks like ET. Seriously. ET phone home!

I have no idea how this thing has stood the test of time…we’re talking serious years, baby…and the only thing that’s missing is the googly eyes!

But, I’m glad it has survived…and glad that it still gets put out to laugh at year after year.

So, since everyone is doing th e list of what they’re thankful for…here’s mine…

• My family-Mom, Dad, Margot and that Brit.
• Isaac-I just can’t say how thankful I am for him. The kid is a wonder every day.
• Doug-even though he drives me insane, I am truly thankful for him…some days, I just don’t know what I’d do without him.
• Jobs that I LIKE. I don’t have to pretend to like them. I really do.
• Bosses that are good. I don’t have to deal wtih the idiot patrol of bosses anymore…I’ve got two that are pretty awesome as far as bosses go. Come on. I had the principal tell me that as long as there’s no porn in my computer lab, I get to teach whatever I want. Seriously. What boss says something like that?
• That we don’t have to spend this this Thanksgiving nursing a sick person. I can’t say how thankful I am for that.
• Friends. Especially the kind that deal with me when I’m in one of my irrational or contrary moods, and don’t ever question it…and just wait it out…and humor me.
• My students-who have made my return to teaching THAT much easier.
• and the 90 trillion other things I’m forgetting…because when you start to count your blessings and things you are thankful for, you always forget a ton.

So, Happy Turkey Day. Go, eat too much, laugh a lot and maybe throw a few walnuts at someone.

It’s Halloween! That can only mean one thing…

 

And sitting in the pumpkin patch is the best place to be-Find the most sincere one…and the Great Pumpkin will come and visit.

What I did on the 4th of July

First off, I need to wish my darling sister a Happy Belated birthday-I called and left a message, but no birthday for the darling lil’ sis would be complete without blogging! SOOO, Happy Birthday, you  Butt Munch. Hope you at least had the day off!

Secondly-I’ve been asked by a few people if my store is one of the ones targeted for closure. The answer is fortunately, NO. We have some of the highest numbers in the district and people would get seriously violent if we closed our doors. Plus, we’re right near a major highway-we get TONS of traffic, as evidinced by July 3rd’s rush that had our drive thru snaking around the building and the line inside the building to the door…There are 3 stores in this area that I’ve heard to be closing. The district and regional managers are fighting one. The other 2 are goners. Hopefully, we’ll get some of the GOOD ones from those 2 stores at our store. Plus, they’re opening another store off the highway about 20 minutes up the road. That store needs staff…so there will be options…but my green apron is safe for now.

 

So, My 4th of July went like this….

4:15-alarm goes off. Get up, shower and put on the Barista clothes.

4:45-4:50-leave the house for what I THINK is a 5:15 start to my shift.

5:00-get to work-see SuperShift’s car-FREAK OUT thinking I’m 15 minutes late. Knock on door, get let in and apologize for being late-get told that she thought it was 4:45 too, and it really was 5:15, and we’re just going to open the store SLOWLY, and take our sweet time, so clock in and let’s get going.

Hey-the 4th was time and a half. I’m not complaining about the extra time.

6:00 am-Open…SLOW morning. Seriously SLOW morning. When HoursWhore (he calls himself that…) comes in, we dawdle around, do our “tasks” and then make ourselves drinks. It’s just dull as dishwater-we come up with drive thru games, and no one even flinches when we play them.

10:47-off the clock I am and heading home. I decide to stop and get bagels-I hear this tidbit from the bagel people “Who the hell needs bagels on the 4th of July!?”

Umm. Me.

So, I came home, ate bagels and proceded to get the family ready for the party that afternoon at my uncle’s house. No, not one of the uncles that is related to the trash dressing family that invaded poor Angela’s bridal shower a few weeks ago…this is the other side of the family…

This was Isaac’s first pool party. He’s really only done “water play” at school and other places. The kid loves water. He’ll sit there and play in the tub for HOURS upon HOURS.

So, he beelines for the kiddie pool and in about 30 seconds, rips off his rash guard.

(note to self: WHY did I buy the child a rash guard? Oh, yeah. He’s PASTY WHITE. Reminder to tell the school to MAKE HIM KEEP IT ON!)

Isaac had a great time hanging with the cousins on the side of the family he’s never really gotten to know (because of distance reasons…and because…of stuff my darling mother doesn’t want me to put in here. There.)

So, here are the photos…hover over for the explanations.

Isaac and DiAnna swimming in the big pool

DiAnna getting Isaac to kick and do all sorts of great stuff in the pool

Amy and Jonah-a kid who\’s a pices with a fish name! No wonder he likes water!

And you know what I got out of this party? Besides some serious schmooze time with my cousins?

And you know the sad part? This was taken this morning…and it’s still that red. OUCH. Next time, remind me to bring hte waterproof sunscreen? Will y’all?

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And there’s now 14 days left as of this post, to enter my blogaversary contest! Keep those “secret menu” drinks coming!

The Day After Easter

I’m nursing a sick little monkey, who won’t eat anything and has slept and just kind of been lethargic most of the day. So, maybe tomorrow I’ll get up a proper post of things that happened yesterday…but of the following I can be sure:

• My cousin didn’t steal my camera again. Bummer.
• I just volunteered to sew table runners for my uncle’s wedding, if his Fiancee gets the fabric.
• I had one too many canolis. Those suckers were goooooooooooood.
• My family is completely out of control.
• I went on another quest for Mom and Dad.

so, more (with photos) tomorrow.

I’m off to take the Monkey to the doctor’s office. I hate to even think of waking him up, because he NEVER does this. BUT, he needs to get to the doc’s office.

The perils of Good Friday

So, yesterday, Doug and I (ok, I) decided that it would be a no-cook day. Since it was Good Friday, we decided that Ankers, a local fish and chicken shop,  was our take out of choice. Why Ankers? Well, for those not in the know, Good Friday has a no meat rule.
So, I go and get my oil changed and  get behind a delusional guy at Wal Mart (that’s another post…) and then mosey on over to Ankers…where the line is out the door and almost to the middle of the parking lot. The place is small anyhoo, and you really can’t eat in here unless it’s spring/summer and you can sit at the picnic tables. It’s that small…but the food is good…
Well, a woman comes out and says “I just waited 45 minutes! Turn back now!” All of us in line laughed. This was a moral imperitive, to get food from Ankers. So, I was bored, and what did I have with me? I had the sock of hockey game fame! Well, I was siting at wal mart waiting for my car…I had to have something to do while my car was on the lift…

So, I break out the sock and start knitting in line. I’ve got the project bag in my purse and the yarn coming out of hte bag…and I’m chugging along on the foot, heading for the toe. As I’m chugging along, people are beginning to stare at me, and I’m starting to get questions as to exactly WHAT I’m knitting and why I would bother to knit socks when you could just go to the Target Boutique and get a pair with minimal effort.

Why do I knit socks? I like ’em! Plain and simple!

So, I’m chugging along on the sock and moving in the line. I was in line for a half hour to get food for us.

But, so are the perils of Good Friday. Long lines at fhis joints, people who think I’m weird for knitting a sock while waiting for said fish and one sock almost ready for toe grafting.

Happy year of the rat!

Today marks one of my all time favorite holidays-Chinese New Year.

I’ve eaten Chinese food today…and since fireworks are illegal, I didn’t do any of that…but I made dinner in a way that I didn’t have to use a knife…didn’t want to cut my luck for the new year. We certainly need all of hte good vibes we can get here at Chez E. Nowhere.  So, I figure I’ll put up the word for luck that hangs on doors and in houses this time of year. Maybe that will turn our tide here. After all, isn’t that what new year is for?

     So, happy and lucky 4706

Go-eat some long noodles and don’t cut anything!